his bed

This morning I am thinking about yesterday. I know, oh, do I know! As followers of Jesus we’re not to live in the past. But here I am! Honestly I don’t know how people live in the past–be it sad, bad, or even good. But like an old snapping turtle, yesterday has bit me and it’s not about to let go–and it’s painful. So, what has caused this harbinger of Good News to do the very thing he counsels people in hard times not to do? Let me tell you and perhaps it will help me let go.

Yesterday it didn’t rain, so I headed off to Dad’s. There’s still a lot to sort out and make decisions about. No one wanted Dad’s bed, so Debbie and I decided to get it. Tuesday Debbie will have a “foot overhaul”. The bed she and I sleep in is high–his bed is low to the floor. It will be easier for her to get in and out of bed after surgery. There were some other things he wanted us to have still there–so off I went. My truck and trailer headed out, and when I got there, I and a good friend started to work. As we went into his bedroom, I remembered the last time I saw him there. The hospice nurse had changed his clothes and made up that bed–and for the first time in a long time he didn’t look like he was in pain. But I was–I was visually reminded of how life changes. And now there was no bed in HIS bedroom–and what’s a bedroom without a bed?

When we arrived back home, we immediately went to work unloading and moving things around. And last night as I prepared to lie into that bed, it hit me hard. I was sleeping on HIS side of the bed–the same side I last saw him in HIS home. And this morning–Yesterday is doing a number on me–in my heart and mind. Did I sleep good on that bed last night? Sure–but I was physically exhausted. I could have slept good on a floor. And this morning–I am sorting through the morning after. And truthfully, I haven’t done well with it. And as God and I were sorting through this heavy grief, He came to me. Not with answers, but His very Presence.

Has my ache and pain disappeared? Absolutely–NOT! I am just as heartbroken right now as I was Yesterday, and This Morning. The snapping turtle that bit me doesn’t seem to be inclinced to let go of me–if anything, he seems more determined. But I am different–different because God sent me Himself, my very best friend–The Holy Spirit. So, I know that this voracious snapping turtle will release his bite on me–at some point, because he has no choice because I am leaning into and leaning on The Holy Spirit. This moment’s power filled truth came into my heart as I listened to this song. I pray it speaks into you as it is speaking into me–as I deal with Yesterday!

Update on Thanksgiving In The Changes

Well, yesterday morning Hospice brought in a portable x-ray and it reveals a fractured tibia from the Wednesday evening fall. He has been taken to a local nursing home for what is called “5 days of respite care”. He will then be brought back home Wednesday afternoon. He is going to require 24/7 care for now, maybe longer. Assisted living is no longer an option–for now, maybe never.

We are adjusting our schedules and seeking out trustworthy people to hire when we cannot be there. Now there’s a task. And if you are looking to combine your faith and a new career/business–this field is wide open. AND because he will be back in HIS home Wednesday, we are still planning and having our Thanksgiving Celebration at the home where I spent over 12 of the most important years of growing up. I will be remembering with Gratitude all that this home has given to me.

This adjusting of my schedule may mean I will not have the time to write every day. But I will keep you posted. Maybe even journal this journey here on this blog. Your prayers are being felt by me and my whole family. You’re doing a great job–so don’t let up. My prayers for him are that his pain will diminish and he will again that be more mobile. Besides, he’s ready for his Home Going and I am so thankful for this; He will be able to see his Jesus, his wife of 73 years, his 2 daughters already there.

I am seeing this season of life as yet another classroom; and the Holy Spirit is my teacher. I haven’t yet seen His Class Syllabus nor the subjects He will be covering. I can trust Him because He has proven Himself every time to be faithful and loving to me. So, I will be watching, listening, and hopefully learning some lessons–about my relationship with Him. And who knows, maybe I will learn something that will help me minister to somebody else. After all, God never wastes any good scars. Until my next Journal Entry, I am deeply indebted and grateful to you who take the time to read this blog. Now, unto Him, who can do so much more than we can think or even imagine–to HIM be all of the honor and glory. Now and forevermore! Amen and Amen!