Life Hack #1

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.  God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

2 Timothy chapter 3, verses 16 and 17; from the New Living Translation (NLT)

I will, from time to time, as I am inspired, maybe perspired, add to my writings some Life Hacks. A Life Hack is any trick, shortcut, skill, or novelty method that increases productivity and efficiency, in all walks of life. In other words, wisdom that will better enable us to successfully navigate the muck, mire, and misery of life on this third rock from the sun. Not all of them will be original thoughts from me; some will be something I saw or read. I just so happen to have the first one ready today. Here it goes:

The Greek word Paul used for Scripture is graphē and it means a writing, thing written. Not a feeling. And certainly not an opinion. I’ve said it before and will keep on saying it: If the Bible is inaccurate, it means that God either didn’t care, or was incapable of stopping it from happening. In either case, that’s not a “god” I would want to give my life to. So, if you want to improve productivity and efficiency in your life, then don’t change the Bible, change yourself!

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WHY WE NEED TO PART WAYS!

³⁶ After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” ³⁷ Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. ³⁸ But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. ³⁹ Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated.  Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. ⁴⁰ Paul chose Silas…

Acts chapter 15, verses 36 thru 40; from the New Living Translation (NLT)

As you’ve noticed, I haven’t been writing lately. It’s not for lack of material–but I’ve had what we call here “the crud”. Tests revealed I did NOT have Flu A, Flu B, Covid, Sinus Infection, nor Pneumonia. So it must be “The Crud”! All I’ve been able to do lately is preach and teach and a few other things. But writing wasn’t one of those “other” things. Well, after much prayer and medicine, this morning I am feeling a lot better. The Crud is losing, and I am gaining. And so I am back doing one of the things I love and enjoy doing: Writing! And for those who watched Tuesday night’s Facebook Live Bible Study, you’ve heard most of what I am writing about today.

Today’s passage is what has been come to be known as a Paul and Barnabas Moment.  Paul wants to revisit all the churches they planted to see how they were doing—AND to make sure that what happened in Antioch wasn’t happening there.  Paul wants to make sure that the Message of Grace hasn’t been polluted by adding things to Grace. Barnabas agreed AND he wants to bring John Mark with them.  But Paul insists that he isn’t allowed to come—and thus the disagreement.  Paul is stubborn on this issue.  But so is Barnabas.

There comes a moment—a decision has to be made.  The decision made was different than the first decision.  The first decision was about taking or leaving John Mark.  Since that decision doesn’t seem to be an option—another decision has to be made:  What Now?  Both men seem to be immovable on their positions.  So the Holy Spirit moves with another option.  They Part Ways.  Barnabas goes in one direction with John Mark.  Paul goes in another direction with Silas.  And what about the United Methodist Church?

This moment in the early Koinonia should have been put into play at least 22 years ago—maybe longer.  Sadly it wasn’t. While both, I said BOTH sides continue their rhetoric and reasons why we should stay together or why we should part ways, we have been missing our purpose and our mission. Here are the obvious reasons why it’s time to end our debating and move on, in separate directions.

REASON 1

We are in a Paul And Barnabas moment.  In fact, we’ve been here for a long time and no one wanted to talk about the elephant in the room. The Paul and Barnabas Moment continues to be present, and it will never go away; until we reach the only conclusion that will work and resolve this crisis.

REASON 2

Not talking about this elephant in the room in the past didn’t make the elephant disappear.  Ignoring anything rarely, if ever, makes it go away.  And ignoring it, or choosing not to know anything about it, has made the problem worse, a lot worse.

REASON 3

Sometimes there are principles and truths that demand that Paul And Barnabas Moment.  Some ideas, or call them beliefs, cannot co-exist together.  The idea being pushed by some bishops and others that the United Methodist Church can be a “Big Tent” where there is room for our different views is flawed.  The issues we are facing are so opposite that they cannot co-exist together.  We need to learn the lesson from electricity.  You have a positive current and a negative current.  And those currents cannot exist together.  See what happens when you take a live electric line with 2 wires and touch them together.  Unlike magnets, theological opposites do not attract and stay together.  They repel one another. That just the way it is. It’s time to admit it. And it’s time to stop blaming one side or the other.

REASON 4

The failure to recognize, accept, and move forward in this Paul And Barnabas moment the way they did—is doing nothing but creating tension and even more division—and it resolves nothing.  Folks, the Big Tent, if it even existed, has collapsed a long time ago. UNITED METHODISTS ON BOTH SIDE, WE’RE DOING NOTHING BUT SPINNING IN THE MUD; AND IT’S ONLY DRAGGING US DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO A HOLE!  And we are hurting the Witness of The Koinonia by trying to co-exist.

REASON 5

Everyone is making a decision on which side they are standing with.  Even churches who don’t want to make a decision, have chosen which side they are standing on.  Remember the lesson about positive and negative electrical wires. And while that electrical wire has a neutral wire, there is no neutral position to take here in the United Methodist. Why? It’s the nature of The Kingdom of God; and it’s the nature of our relationship with God. We are either in or out. No middle ground has ever existed when it comes to walking with Jesus!

REASON 6

We have reached critical mass in reality, not theory.  In the realm of nuclear bombs, critical mass is a chain-reaction that results in more neutrons being generated by fissions per second within that mass than escape per second to the outside world.  In other words, a deadly explosion is about to happen.  And the explosion about to happen within the United Methodist Church—if it remains under that non-existent Big Tent—will leave about as many survivors as the detonation of a nuclear bomb. United Methodists, I ask each of you: Are you really willing to push that button and destroy the Wesleyan Movement? I hope not. I pray not! Say it isn’t so!!!

REASON 7

It is better to have that Gamaliel Solution rather than to self-destruct.  Remember early in the formation of the Koinonia when all of the disciples had been brought up on charges before the Sanhedrin?  They were trying to figure out the best way to deal with them.  Some wanted to kill them.  But Gamaliel had a different idea.  We read in Acts chapter 8, verses 38 and 39:  “So my advice is, leave these men alone.  Let them go.  If they are planning and doing these things merely on their own, it will soon be overthrown.  But if it is from God, you will not be able to overthrow them.  You may even find yourselves fighting against God!  I make this plea to our Bishops to implement the Gamaliel Solution, sooner than later. By doing this we can stop pointing fingers and laying blame at each other’s feet. Tell the Judicial Council to go to Antarctica, and let us depart in peace. Then we can go to either Cyprus or to Syria and Cilicia.

This is where we are, folks. It is what it is and all this caterwauling isn’t solving or resolving anything. Failure to part ways is hurtful. Please Bishops, Please! The Gamaliel Solution sounded good back then. And it sounds even better today. Let’s leave the results to God on who’s right and who’s wrong! Failure to do so is just wrong. . .just plain wrong!

JUST THROW IT AWAY AND FORGET ABOUT IT!

For my fellow United Methodists, I don’t have to tell you we are nothing but The Denominational version of the Titanic. If you are a United Methodist and don’t know what I’m talking about, “SHAME ON YOU! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND!” Why? Because this problem isn’t going away. And we cannot remain true to our Wesleyan heritage as long as This Problem exists. They (meaning Progressives, or as I prefer to call them, ‘ProAgressives’) want–nay DESIRE–nay again–they are DETERMINED to throw out the Bible and our Orthodox faith like yesterday’s trash. They “know” more than what The Bible clearly says–and for more than the Saints who sought and fought to preserve the Orthodox Faith. In case you may not be familiar with the word Orthodox (because it is a big word like mahogany), perhaps these synonyms will help you understand it better.

from http://www.thesaurus.com

Three of them in particular fit the bill to understand what I mean by the Orthodox Faith: authoritative, buttoned down, and by the numbers! But. . . there are those in this Tribe I have been a part of for over 66 years who are convinced (or should I say deceived) that the tried and proven truth about sexual ethic of the Bible is. . .well. . .just plain wrong. Jesus was all about the love, they claim. And they claim that only 2 genders, male and female, are way too restrictive for people to really be who they are. So, they’ve added 72 additional gender designations. Forget the science, forget the biology, and forget Genesis chapter 2. And forget how our stance on sexuality has been unchanged since 1972. It states that all people stand equally in need of God’s grace. However, the practice of homosexuality is incompatable with Christian teachings–i.e.–the orthodox faith. Homosexuality is not any worse than any other sin–but it is outside God’s design and thus it is a sin–along with that long litany of stuff that puts all of us outside of God’s Desgin.

And now to this past week–and it shows how far my beloved Tribe has wandered. According to our approved procedures and rules, no self avowed practicing homosexual can be licensed, commissioned, nor ordained. To assure fidelity to the Bible and our procedures, we have this group called The Board Of Ordained Ministry. Some call it the BOOM or BOM for short. In the most recent session of the Florida Annual Conference, their BOOM recommended 16 candidates to be commissioned on the path to full ordination. Of the 16, two admitted that they were self-avowed practicing homosexuals–clearly in violation of The Bible and our rules. However, the Florida BOOM approved them. But they still needed 3/4 of the ordained clergy to give final approval. And the stuff hit the fire.

What Bishop Ken Carter and the Florida BOOM did was to put all 16 candidates in a single vote. As a group, vote up or down. Now, in fairness, I do not know that the other 14 candidates met the requirements. However, we do know that 2 did not! And the resulting firestorm has been aimed at the 27.3% who voted against the 16 because Bishop Carter would not allow them to vote on the candidates one by one. 27.3% voted according to their ordination vows and the Bible, and now they are the villians. So, the 27.3% who acted in the same spirit as Joshua and Caleb (see the story of the 10 spies) are treated with great disdain and anger.

And a fellow blogger joins in the disdain and anger, Rev. Jim Harnish. You can read his blog here. Jim asserts that the orthodox faith is invalid because, well because we are such more enlightened. And during the eventual commissioning and ordaining service, Bishop Ken Carter apologized to that group with these words:

“I grieve the harm you have experienced.
I am committed to the support of your callings …
I would have gladly commissioned each of you, and gladly appointed each of you …“

Bishop Ken Carter

So, Bishop Carter would have gladly thrown away both the Bible and our Discipline. Whether that’s what he meant or not, this is exactly what he was saying and doing. And to my fellow Brother Jim I say that simply because you have changed your views about The Bible and our Discipline, a Discipline you promised you would faithfully follow when you were ordained, doesn’t mean you are right. I am grieved that you would allow culture to define your faith rather than allow God’s Word to Transform the culture. And thus, we see the 21st Century version of the Titanic raising her bow in preparation for sinking. I am not angry–I am sad–and I am disappointed that there are those who will abandon John Wesley’s passion to be people of “homo unius libri.” (a people of One Book!)

To candid, reasonable men, I am not afraid to lay open what have been the inmost thoughts of my heart. I have thought, I am a creature of a day, passing through life as an arrow through the air. I am a spirit come from God, and returning to God: just hovering over the great gulf; till, a few moments hence, I am no more seen; I drop into an unchangeable eternity! I want to know one thing the way to heaven; how to land safe on that happy shore. God Himself has condescended to teach the way; for this very end He came from heaven. He hath written it down in a book. O give me that book! At any price, give me the book of God! I have it: here is knowledge enough for me. Let me be “homo unius libri.”

John Wesley (June 17, 1706-March 2, 1791)

Footnote: Though I am saddened, maligned by others, accused of quitting and giving up–I am still praying and hopeful that this blight and disorder–this cancerous lie–can be put in it’s rightful place. Back to hell where it came from and where it belongs! Furthermore, I am confident that the Wesleyan desire for renewal and revival is not dead on this earth. The signs are everywhere. And if our leadership in the UMC doesn’t have a change of heart–it will happen with another people–NOT in the UMC!

RIPPING APART AT THE SEEMS!

The fabric of our culture is being ripped apart at the seems. And please don’t call the Grammar Police that I have used the wrong word. It’s the correct word. I wrote what I meant and I meant what I wrote. SEEMS! Here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. the fabric of our society is being ripped to shreads at the seems. I came upon this thought through remembering a certain passage from The Bible. In fact, it’s been roaming around in my gray matter for several days. Here is is:

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.

Proverbs chapter 14 verse 12 from the New Living Translation

Some might think it’s amazing that a book as old as Proverbs can be so relevant to these times. But it’s not really amazing to me. These books of The Bible continue to be both timeless and timely. But let’s get back to those seems. Consider this:

• It seems right to the LBGTQI culture that if society just accepted them, they would be happy.
• It seems right to the gay community that if they could just get married like any heterosexual couple they would be happy.
• It seems right to the project manager since their assistant is so capable to let them do all the work and they take all the credit.
• It seems right that since that other person is so good looking, that a night in the sack is OK.
• It seems right that if they child shows up for the games they should get a participation trophy.
• It seems right that since they have a college degree they should start at the top.
• It seems right that since that drug helps take away their stress they should reach for it.
• It seems right that since a child would impede their lifestyle and goals, an abortion is the right choice.
• It seems right that the government should be responsible for us from craddle to grave.
• It seems right that if someone doesn’t agree with you that they must then hate you.
• It seems right ad nauseam…

Now before you Tenured Pew Sitters finish saying, “Amen! You tell them Preacherman!” Let’s look at our church culture.

• It seems right that Jesus should just come back and take us good ones on to our reward, since this world will never change.
• It seems right that if the church could just go back to the good old days, we could stop the hemorrhaging members and doors closing.
• It seems right that if their church started catering to them, then all the problems would go away in their church.
• It seems right the church’s sole job is to point out the sins of others.
• It seems right that everyone in their church should dress a certain way, think a certain way, and believe a certain way.
• It seems right that the church should only help those who deserve it.
• It seems right that they should only sing the songs they like.
• It seems right ad nauseam…

It seems that many, too many people, are living by the seems–and life is ripping apart at the seems. And then Proverbs Chapter 14 Verse 12 proves itself to be absolutely true. What seems to be true is proven false by life itself. And things begin to rip apart, at the seems. This is life without God–life without Jesus as BOTH Savior AND Lord. Contrary to the opinion of alleged experts, we are simply not qualified, and certainly not capable, of determining what is right and what is wrong.

But there is an alternative and it’s the only one who will keep our lives from falling apart at the seems. It’s really simple and easy–that is–if we can get over ourselves. We find it in another book of The Bible. It’s in Matthew chapter 11, verses 28 and 29:

²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

from the New Living Translation

The word yoke doesn’t refer to the kind worn by oxen and mules. It’s about the Teaching Of The Rabbi. Back then what Rabbis taught was called The Yoke. And if you think the teaching of Jesus is too hard and difficult (because He did say: Be holy as I Am holy), read these words again. But this time from a different Translation:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

from The Message

Be and become whom God made you to be and become, and NOT what seems right to you. You and our society will be and become something so much better. Love God with all your heart. Love others the way Jesus loves you. And make sure all the glory goes to Him!

DENSE FOG ADVISORY

Dense Fog Advisory! Sometimes this warning shows up on our weather app; sometimes the local meterologist tells us that; and sometimes–well–it’s obvious! Am I right? Do we really need an app or the local weather person tell us this when it’s so obvious? Are there really people out there who don’t know there’s dense and dangerous fog out there unless an app tells them? (Heavy, heavy, heavy sigh here) It grieves me deeply to say this–But, Yes! Absolutely there are people out there who don’t know there’s a dense fog out there unless someone tells them! There was a season when this thought made me angry. And now? It makes me sad and literally breaks my heart.

It’s not just the weather fog people cannot see–there’s a denser fog out there that’s more dangerous than the fog those apps warn us about; it fact–there’s a myriad of fogs that will cause bigger crashes that the fog on the highways. There’s the political fog that is so dense and many cannot see the danger right in front of us. I’m not singling out “a” political pary–it’s ALL OF THEM! Then there’s that cultural fog where people think they can think for themselves, resulting in norms that are twisted beyond intelligent reasoning. There’s that moral fog that deceives the person into thinking they can do whatever they want and escape the consequences. There’s what I call the family fog–where parents want to be their kids friend rather than their parent–where fathers and mothers are missing in action. I could go on, but hopefully (unless you are in a dense fog of your own) you see my point.

Where do all these fogs come from? Glad you asked this question because I have the answer. It’s that Spiritual Fog! People will disagree about anything and everything. One sees one thing and another sees another thing and another sees yet another thing and–it goes on ad nauseam–and the fog gets thicker and thicker and thicker. Imagine, if you will, morning commuters driving in a dense fog at the same speeds as a bright, sunny morning. The dense fog doesn’t seem to phase them. But sooner or later–more likely to be sooner–what they don’t think is in front of them–IS in front of them–and the chain reaction wreck begins. More cars and trucks plow into the mess–and when the fog clears? Carnage and devastation appears.

Without a set in stone foundation for our lives, what happens on highways and interstates happens to people, families, communities, and corporations. But we do not have to live in a spiritual fog because we have God’s Word, otherwise known as The Bible. Every issue of life is addressed in The Book! But more and more have turned their backs on The Book. Why? Well, The Book tells us why–THE BOOK that so many think is irrelevent and unreliable. The Book tells us in Proverbs chapter 14, verse 12–“There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.” (NLT) The Message makes it even clearer: “There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again—it leads straight to hell.” When we think we know everything, WATCH OUT! And when you recognize the dense spiritual fog all around–there’s an app for that–we call it The Bible. Turn to The Book! Run to The Book! And ask The Teacher (The Holy Spirit) to help you–and He will!

New Discovery Brings New Meaning To The Lincoln-Douglas Debates

Did you know at one time that each state’s legislature selected their Senators for the U.S. Senate? One contentious battle for that seat happened in Illinois in 1858 between the incumbent Stephen Douglas and this guy named Abraham Lincoln. They had a series of 7 debates, each man hoping to sway the Illinois legislature to select them. And it has been taught that the hot button topic was on the expansion of slavery into the U.S. Territories. But recently an old barn in Illinois was being demolished and a newspaper from a now defunct newspaper, The Roof Leak Weekly, sheds new light on this hot topic button.

According to an article in that recently discovered issue of Roof Leak Weekly, it wasn’t the issue of slavery, rather it was the issue of the Internet. Douglas insisted, at time shouting, “Everything you read on the Internet must be true–nay–IT IS TRUE!” Well, Abe took the opposite view frequently stating, in a small voice, “Now hold on to those reins Stephen. Just because it’s on the Internet doesn’t mean there is even a small morsel of Truth. My father taught me that right after he caught me cutting down the cherry tree.” This discord became the single bone of contention between these gentlemen–at times nearly coming to blows betwixt them. This is according to The Roof Leak Weekly–and if The Roof Leak Weekly said so, then it is so! Now you knew the real Truth about the Lincoln-Douglas Debates. By the way, in case you did not know, Lincoln won the debates, but lost the election to the U.S. Senate.

Are you scratching your head, wondering if I hit my head really hard yesterday with this opening? Do you think me preposterous, loony, wacky, daffy, dippy, flaky, incongruous, nutty and screwy for such statements? Well, since you’re reading this sentence, it means it’s on the Internet, so it must be true! OK, OK, I said OK! You caught me in a moment of Sagacious Sarcasm. As ridiculous as my nonsensical news about those famous debates sounds, so is a lot of other impedimenta being put out on the Wacky World Web–sometimes referred to as The Internet!

There is a plethora of conspiracies and truths out there hidden behind every tree that the government doesn’t want YOU to know. They are being kept in a secret government bunker under lock and key in a vault and under the control of just a handful of people who are more than afraid–they are TERRIFIED and PANIC STRICKEN that anyone else would know The Truth. Fox Mulder was right–“The Truth is out there!” But alas, do not despair. Remember Stephen Douglas’ assertion on the truth of the Internet! And if The Truth is out there–and it is according to Fox Mulder–some hero will manage in infiltrate that secret government bunker to find it–or find someone with access to that secret government bunker who is tired of lying to the masses and will get The Scoop On The Truth to some Internet Crusader!

Here’s an example: The COVID-19 Vaccine. I’ve had both doses of the Moderna vaccine and as proof I have been and continue to be unaffected by the vaccine, here is my latest selfie:

Seriously folks, there are side effects to every medication. Have your read the warning label on acetaminophen? Or when a physician orders your a prescription do you read about all the side effects? But there are pseudo-scientists and lazy researchers who are experts in their own illusionary world telling us all kinds of things about the vaccine. But hey! It’s on the Wacky World Web so it must be true.

Did you just hear that? In case you didn’t, it was the sound of a heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy sigh from the depths of my mind and heart. It’s not just on vaccines–name any subject and somewhere is an alleged and lazy pseudo-journalist that can find that there the truth is out there–in that heavily secured underground government bunker in an unknown location (which at this time some pseudo-journalist is searching for and will find that secret underground government)!

It seems there are many, too many people out there who are quick to believe in and will pay double the price for the snake oil. I know many of them, and you probably do, too! At the risk of sounding older than dirt–How I long for the good old days when people would think for themselves–and had enough common sense to know what Abraham Lincoln knew so long ago–That Everything You Read On The Internet Isn’t True!

THE DANGEROUS ELMER FUDD

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Yesterday I said I would be back with God helping me. Well, He did and here I am. Not all of my reflections are on God’s Kingdom, but they are influenced by His Kingdom. So today I must issue this Disclaimer: This isn’t a spiritual subject I’m addressing today. It is, though, a very human subject that penetrates to the core of our culture in the good old U.S. of A. And if other alleged “experts” can speak into this mess, then so can I; so here goes!

I’m 65 years old. As a kid, I watched Elmer with a gun. But I never shot anyone. I saw Bugs Bunny doing all kinds of violence against other Daffy Duck and others. Yet I never acted violently against anyone. I watch Yosemite Sam’s outbursts and shooting his side arm. But I never went ballistic, shooting up any place. I watched Wile E. Coyote try to catch the Roadrunner. And amazingly, I’ve never ordered dynamite, missiles, or traps from Acme.

Now, if I listen to the dribble being purported as the truth–by now I should be a raging man of extreme violence. According to the “experts”, my wall should be mounted with all kinds of trophies of the people I’ve killed. But the only things I have killed is some squirrels, a few rabbits (NOT Bugs), some game birds (NOT the Roadrunner or Tweety), a few coyotes (NOT Wile E.), and a healthy parcel of deer (NOT Bambi).

We are being told, on a frequent basis, that gun violence is to blame for all those tragic shooter situations. I cannot remember the exact number of guns, both handguns and long guns, that I have owned over the past 65 years. But I do know that not a single one of them ever committed an act of violence. It’s hard for me to believe that of the dozens of firearms I’ve had in my possession, all of them were defective. They must have been, and my current stock of firearms must also be defective, because not a single one of them has ever committed an act of violence. The deer might disagree with me–but the gun didn’t act on it’s own. I had a hand in it; actually my left eye and finger.

And this gets me to my point this morning. Why are people no longer being held responsible for their choices and decisions? Be it violence with a stick, a pipe, a fist, a bat, a knife, or even a firearm–what has happened to personal responsibility? They want to blame everything for this violence–except the person who commits it.

These “experts” want to blame it on cartoons. I refer you back to my second paragraph. And have you ever watch “modern” cartoons? My Dad had a conniption when Clark Gable said “damn” in “Gone with the Wind”. Today’s language is far worse. And the plots of these “kid’s” cartoons promote stupidity to infinity and back. (Sorry, Buzz Lightyear, no offense intended to you.)

And then these “experts” want to blame lifeless, inanimate objects for exerting undue and unnecessary influence on people. This is what the term “gun violence” declares, not implies. What is causing so much violence? Here are a few ideas, maybe some will think the novel or new, but they are tested and proven over the centuries.

• There is this thing call consequences for choices and actions–and each person makes their own choices–so own those choices
• Kids not being made to be kind, respectful and courteous
• Kids being allowed to make decisions that they are neither mentally, emotionally, and intellectually equipped to make (such as what gender they are)
• Being recognized for just being present; we call them participation trophies (see this previous blog of mine)
• Giving kids everything but morals and values which put others first instead of themselves
• Disrespecting the most vulnerable of the human race; it’s called abortion. I mean if they see that babies can be eliminated because they are unwanted or their gender (yes, gender selection is a reason for some abortions)–how can anyone respect the life of another person?
• And above all these (and the many more I could add to this list), is that this world owes them absolutely nothing–but that they owe the world hard work, compassion, to dream of what builds people up rather than tear them down.

Our problem in this nation and world isn’t a gun problem but a human problem; it’s not gun violence but human violence. Now, you can disagree with me if you want–you have that freedom and are free to make that choice. But disagreeing with me doesn’t make we wrong. You can believe are you right–but you’re still wrong.

TO INSANITY AND BEYOND! (The U.M.C.)

As an adult, I absolutely loved the movie Toy Story. And some will want to flog me with a wet noodle for saying this–but Buzz Lightyear is my favorite character. Even though that was nearly 25 years ago, I still love to watch that movie. Now I am seeing why I am drawn to Buzz Lightyear. It was his catchphrase: To Infinity And Beyond! But seriously, how can one go beyond infinity since infinity has no end?

And for the last few weeks, I have taken his catchphrase and replaced one word–and it is a word that describes my beloved United Methodist Church; and thus the title of today’s edition: To Insanity And Beyond! How does one go beyond insane? Clinicians in the world of behavioral science have pretty much agreed upon their definition of “Insanity”! But there is a better definition that is easily understood and on which there can be no disagreement. Well. . .unless you are insane. OK, here it is:

Insanity is doing the same things over and over and over–and expecting different results.

I am hearing, and I’m being told by my fellow United Methodists, that we are at a critical crossroads in our Tribe. I laugh to myself when I hear the word “crossroads”. The United Methodist church is at a crossroads, and the Democrats and Republicans want to be nice to each other. HAH! This may hurt the feelings of some of my fellow United Methodists, but. . .oh well! Toughen up, buttercup.

To say we are at a crossroads in the United Methodist Church declares that we have four options: go straight, turn right, turn left, or go back the way we came. This has been the situation going on for 5 decades, and the United Methodist Church continues to be in a serious state of decline every year. And what should have been decided this year has been postponed until 2021–the affect of COVID-19.

A group in my own Conference has started a movement called Stay UMC (click here for their website). Centrists and Progressive sincerely believe that we can stay UMC and maintain a diverse view of the authority and reliability of the Bible. Friends, this has been attempted now through 5 decades and we continue to be in a state of decline. It is insane to continue this way.

The image of where the United Methodist Church is at is not a crossroads, but we are at the T-Intersection!

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At a T-Intersection you can’t go straight. The road has ended. Now you must choose a different direction. And because it will be a different direction, it means that we will no longer together be United Methodists. Truth is, it’s insane to think over the past 5 decades that we have even been in the same area code of United. We are fragmented and broken and the time has come for a kind and civil farewell to each other.

Make your choice because the road that the United Methodist Church has been traveling has come to a T-Intersection. It is insane to think that doing what we’ve been doing is going to produce a different outcome. If you believe that, then I refer you to my statement after paragraph 2. My fellow United Methodists, this madness must stop! I join the growing crowd who is giving up this game of Kicking The Can down the road. I know that this moment is not a Crossroads moment. Make a choice. Either we can trust The Bible or we can’t trust The Bible. Really, one cannot go beyond insanity.

Time To End P.C. And Send It Back To H-e-double toothpick, Where It Came From

When I say “P.C.” I’m not talking about Microsoft Windows 10 or any microprocessor platform. This late Sunday afternoon I’m about to go on a rant about Political Correctness, hereafter simply called PC. And here’s the reason why.

Before 3:00 a.m., I woke up to the sound of my wife Debbie falling. I jumped out of bed to check on her. She was incoherent and disoriented. I finally helped her to her chair in the living room. It reminded me of when she had double pneumonia and her oxygen level had dropped to 72 percent–critical. Her oxygen level was good but she wasn’t. I called 911 for an ambulance, and of course, I couldn’t go with her because of the COVID-19 protocols.

She is diagnosed with a serious urinary tract infection. Over the past 16 years I have been at her side through 7 stents, even more arteriograms, 1 heart attack, 5 days in a pulmonary intensive care unit, and a few other surgeries. And this evening she is alone in the hospital getting treatment and I cannot be there. And here’s why:

We have an over preponderance of idiots in this nation. These idiots have cleared shelves of hand sanitizer, rubbing alcohol, and disinfectants; leaving the most vulnerable without necessary supplies. These idiots walk the aisles of Walmart, Sam’s, Costco, and grocery stores like nothing is going on. These idiots bring their children by the carload. These idiots have proven they do not care about anyone but themselves. By now the curve of COVID-19 cases should be going down. But. . . these idiots out there are making life difficult. I have a friend who told me this morning on Facebook that her grandfather is in ICU, alone and they can’t be with him. People have family members in skilled nursing facilities and unless their relative is dying, they can’t visit with them. And it is ALL BECAUSE OF THESE IDIOTS.

Some of you may think I am being way too harsh. The PC rules say I am being mean for simply telling the truth. “They say” you can draw more flies with honey than vinegar. Well, what has all this honey done but create a sticky mess with dead flies everywhere. And that’s exactly what PC has created in our culture! We are so afraid of “offending” someone that Idiots are given free-range against society. It’s time we started calling things as they really are and stop pretending that being nice will change people. If you know a COVID-19 Idiot, be they family, friend, coworker, neighbor, or stranger, do them, and the rest of us a favor: Call them out for being an idiot!

And if someone reading this is offended that I called them an idiot, then I apologize because I thought you knew you are an idiot! Yes I’m angry and for good cause. Now, do I love idiots? Absolutely! But they are still idiots and I will no longer contribute to their delusion they aren’t idiots! Now excuse me while I find something to calm me down!

And The Verdict Is. . .

As of last night the CDC reports there are 122,653 of confirmed and presumptive positive cases of COVID-19 reported to CDC or tested at CDC since January 21, 2020 in the United States. This number is up from Saturday evening’s number of 103,321. People in the U.S. are panic buying. It started with toilet paper and hand sanitizer and now it’s milk, bread, eggs and God knows what else. People are scooping up self-rising flour who have never made a biscuit in their life! And the jury has reached a verdict.

Most people in the United States are found GUILTY of Having No Common Sense And Are Acting Stupid! It took the jury only 3 seconds to reach this verdict. When you consider the evidence it is no surprise at all. Just look at the evidence:

• You ask a student “You have 3 apples and give 1 apple to your friend, how many are left?” and rather than the student imagine 3 apples, take away 1 and count what’s left, which is 1 then 2, 2 apples left, they have replaced it with common core math. To find the answer you take the circumference of Saturn, divide that by the number of species of ducks, multiply that answer by the temperature on the surface of Mercury, then subtract the number of Wal-Marts in the world, divided by 7.68345690 and subtract the number of people who will buy eggs today and Voila! The answer is 2!
• Participation Trophies! You have achieved greatness by simply being present. Forget effort. Forget skill and ability. Besides, it’s plain meanness to reward success!
• Entitlement has become the norm. Who needs perseverance? What’s the value in trying and learning from failure? You exist therefore you deserve!
• Administrators tell teachers, “You have to teach for the state tests. Forget knowledge and wisdom–it’s the scores on those tests that matter most. NOT the students needs, but OUR need to score high on those tests!”
• Many school systems have taken out vocational/technical schools because it’s more important for the students to go to college in order for them to ask “Would you like a fried apple pie with this order?” The number of high school students who receive a college degree looks great on the paperwork!
• Speaking of college, OY VEY! Professors have concluded that they are the experts in their fields and are the sole depository of knowledge, and expect their students to be their little minions who perpetuate their jabber and twaddle. (if you don’t know the meaning of twaddle, look it up!) Cemetery Professors, excuse me, that should have been Seminary Professors, are the absolute worst!
• And parents? OY VEY! OY VEY! OY VEY! They want to be their child’s friend! Great gobbledygook! This is enough evidence by itself to arrive at that Guilty Verdict!
• Morality, what is right and wrong, good and bad, is determined by the individual rather than proven standards, such as the Bible. They even encourage their children to find their own gender rather than accept what nature gave them.
• Consequences? What’s that? People are protected from the consequences of their choices and actions. There is always someone else, something else to blame. Oy gevalt! Bupkes! That’s mishegas! It’s bupkes! Go ahead and kvetsh if it makes you feel better! (I love Yiddish!)
• And finally, it’s more important to be kind than truthful–especially when truth hurts. A president once challenged this nation to be a kinder and gentler nation. Well, people accepted the challenge, and look at the mess we’re in!

Look at this nation now. More and more people are thinking more and more about themselves while thinking less and less about others. I heard one story of a shopper who was buying up milk. The business only allowed 2 gallons to be purchased. So she bought 2 gallons; then went back in a went through the self checkout with 2 more gallons. This continued until she had her minivan full of milk. Another shopper was doing the same with toilet paper until an astute associate saw what she was doing and cut her off!

There was a time when you didn’t need a declaration from the government to stay at home if you were sick. It was called Common Sense and Decency! There was a time when people cared more about others than themselves. There was a time when valor and restraint were considered virtues. There was a time when hard work was noble and the dream people held dear. And there was a time when it was appropriate to call out, in a kind way, stupidity in others. Well. . . what can I say? Too many people are null and void when it comes to common sense–and are stupid, I say, absolutely stupid! They make the 3 Stooges look like clones of Albert Einstein.

GUIDE TO MANAGING AND MANEUVERING THROUGH COVID-10 CRISIS–ALL You Need To Know

I’ve made many satirical and snarky comments and analysis about the current News Media fed panic about COVID-19. Some of those comments were made in private conversations among friends and family, and a couple of snarky comments via social media (see the above graphic as an example). But today, though I usually reserve Friday’s for something funny, I want to be serious, transparent and truthful.

Here is your complete, yet simple GUIDE TO MANAGING AND MANEUVERING THROUGH COVID-19 CRISIS. For this to effectively work, you must first take a moment to breathe in deeply. Hold that breath and imagine it’s everything you’ve heard, been told, or assumed about COVID-19. Now exhale and as you do imagine that everything you’re heard, been told, or assumed is leaving your mind with that breath. Have you done that? If you are still have any of what you’ve heard, been told, or assumed still in your mind, repeat the process until you reach ultimate Zen. OK, let’s get going to the truth:

1. Understand the difference between a PANDEMIC and an EPIDEMIC

This is absolutely the first step, and the longest section of this blog. Without this knowledge you will dive deeper and deeper in fear and chaos. The word PANDEMIC is being tossed around like a football. I call your attention to that famous line from The Princess Bride:

According to the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia a PANDEMIC “refers to an epidemic that has spread over several countries or continents, usually affecting a large number of people”. Do not panic at the word EPIDEMIC. By definition (of the CDC as well as epidemiologists) an EPIDEMIC “refers to a sudden increase in the number of cases of a disease above what is normally expected”. Stay calm because we need to understand these definitions and their appropriate applications.

Look at this part of the definition of EPIDEMIC: a sudden increase in the number of cases of a disease above what is normally expected. To help, I’ve emphasized those last 2 words. Here’s an example and application. The World Health Organization and the Center for Disease Control normally expects 3 cases of Spotted Zebra Measles (not a real disease). In 2018 they had exactly 3 cases. Normal, right?

But in 2019 they find 6 cases of Spotted Zebra Measles. By definition, since the number of Spotted Zebra Cases have doubled, from 3 to 6, we have an EPIDEMIC. The 6 cases were not normally expected. Are you with me so far? Good. Now let’s imagine that 2 of those 6 cases were in 2 other countries. You now have a PANDEMIC. Remember that a PANDEMIC refers to an EPIDEMIC that has spread over several countries or continents, USUALLY affecting a large number of people. Two is not a large number–however it does fall outside the parameters of NORMALLY EXPECTED. And notice that word in the definition of PANDEMIC: USUALLY affecting a large number of people.

Not always affecting a large number of people; just usually. And what defines a large number of people? Now apply all this to COVID-19. Less than 1 out of 500,000+ people world-wide have had presumptive positive tests for COVID-19. Only 1 out of 500,000 isn’t a large number. BUT, because of the first case of COVID-19 exceeded normal expectations, you have an EPIDEMIC and because it’s been found in other countries you have a PANDEMIC.

Let’s put all this in PERSPECTIVE. Since 29 September 2019 there have been 207,466 confirmed cases of Type A and Type B Influenza in the United States. Can we agree is 207,466 is a large number? Presumptive Positive cases of COVID-19 are minuscule compared to 207,466. In the same period there have been an estimated 16,000 deaths from Types A and B Influenza in the United States, primarily among young children, elderly adults, and those with chronic health issues. Yet, there is NO Epidemic because these numbers have not exceeded what has been established as NORMAL.

I’m not insisting that you go forward with reckless abandon and ignore potential dangers. That would be like seeing decaying boards on a swinging bridge over a 5,000 foot deep crevice and saying, “Oh, those decaying board will hold me up!” But there are some simple guidelines you can follow.

2. Practice Good Hygiene

Regularly wash your hands using both soap and water. This ancient practice (FYI–it was given to the Hebrews as a law from God) is time tested and a proven method for remaining healthy. In addition to soap and water, you can use hand sanitizer during the day. HOWEVER avoid using any of the online HOMEMADE VARIETIES. Unless the alcohol contention is greater than 60% they are not effective. You cannot know this unless you have a degree in chemistry and a lab at home to test it. If your local store has sold out of hand sanitizer because of the rush of idiots, you can use undiluted Isopropyl rubbing alcohol or undiluted hydrogen peroxide. Both are proven to kill the COVID-19 Virus as well as both Type A and Type B strains of Influenza.

3. Keep Personal Spaces Clean

Put tissues in the garbage can and don’t leave them on a desk, table, vehicle, or chair. Wipe areas down regularly. Again, simple soap and water does the trick if packaged wipes are unavailable. Remember rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide.

3. Stay Home

If you have sniffles, cough, body aches or fever–don’t share your marvelous presence under any circumstances. I missed my last family Christmas with my Mother before she died because I had the flu. I also missed the first family Christmas after she died because of the flu. Don’t consider it just a simple cold or allergies. Go to a clinic or doctor for an accurate diagnosis. Don’t trust self-diagnosis. This applies to you, your spouse, your significant other, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins all the way to your 7th cousin twice removed, as well as the stranger within your gates. And please don’t expect your pastor to pay you a visit!

4. Don’t Visit Others Who Are Sick

This step is for you compassionate folks. Whether someone is isolated at home, or especially in a hospital don’t go visit them to show that you care. You can call them (letting them know why you are not there in person), send flowers or a fruit/snack basket. If they are at home and you want to bring them over a meal, call ahead and let them know what you are doing and when you get there, ring the doorbell or knock on the door and leave the food in a designated location. Add a nice handwritten note as well. Avoid nursing homes as much as possible to avoid spreading the Influenza or catching Influenza. As much as you may want to see a family member who is sick, show them how much you care by waiting until they are well.

5. Carefully Plan Your Shopping

This step really makes sense. The more often you are in a public setting the greater the probability you will come in contact with someone who has the Flu and has chosen to have no respect for human life and ignored Step 3. Don’t go to a store each time you need something. Change your menu, or adjust your plans as much as possible. Make a list and go once a week or every other week if possible. Some businesses will allow you to order online or with an app and you can simply drive up to the designated location, or walk to a specific location and everything is ready for you.

This is neither Rocket Surgery or Brain Science folks. Simple precautions and a hefty dose of common sense will begin to ease both the panic and stupidity that is currently in over-abundance. You are going to be perfectly alright….unless you see this in your neighborhood…

PCP–HEAVEN’S TO BETSY! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?–Tuesday Thoughts, 11 March 2020

Our world is having a serious issue right now with PCP. I’m not talking about phencyclidine, an illegal narcotic also known as Angel Dust. An interesting side-note about phencyclidine–it was introduced as an anesthesia in the 1950s. It took them until 1965 to ban it as anesthesia because of it’s side-effects of hallucinations. If you were given phencyclidine as anesthesia before 1966, you may be entitled to compensation; call 800-shy-ster for more information.

No, the PCP that is quickly becoming the worst PANDEMIC yet is PANIC, CHAOS and PANDEMONIUM. I am not about to make light of the serious nature of the COVID-19. Nor am I making light of those who have COVID-19 and am not diminishing the grief of those who have lost someone close to them because of COVID-19. My comments today are directed to those who are promoting and spreading PCP–PANIC, CHAOS, PANDEMONIUM, which is proving to be more dangerous and damaging than COVID-19. In reviewing this before I posted it, both forms of PCP, the chemical form and emotional form, create hallucinations–things that simply are not real.

The money markets, stock markets, and supermarkets are all in free-dive hysteria. Context and proportion is essential to navigating life when things get a bit dicey. Currently, if China is releasing correct data now, less that .000002 percent of the population has COVID-19. The percentage for the rest of the world is less than .0000002 percent. This morning there are 647 cases in the U.S. The percentage is less than .0000002 percent. The odds of contracting COVID-19 are about the same as winning the big lottery. It is more likely that you will be struck by lightning that to get the COVID-19 virus. You don’t see people clearing shelves of water, sanitizer, and toilet paper.

Yet people, and news organizations, are making it sound like the plague of the dark ages is upon us again. They make it sound like people are dropping dead everywhere because of COVID-19. The Markets are in free-dive hysteria not because of what COVID-19 is doing to the world–but what it, now get this, what it MIGHT DO. And now get this–There’s a shortage of toilet paper because of this report that somewhere someone allegedly found the COVID-19 virus growing in toilet paper. I noticed one church posted on face book all the things they were doing extra, and changing some things–because of Panic, Chaos and Pandemonium has taken over HOW people think.

Gee Whiz, people, get a grip. I remember other so-called pandemics that created PCP. Don’t you remember H1N1, West Nile Virus, Swine Flu, Avian Flu, Legionnaires disease and SARS?

Here’s the Main Point: DON’T LET FEAR RUN YOUR LIFE! I’ve heard people complain about FEAR, yet they run towards it faster than someone running to the toilet who has intestinal issues. When FEAR rules one part of your life, it will take over and ruin the rest of your life. And the way, THE ONLY WAY to keep the Wolf of Fear away from the door is to become a follower and disciple of Jesus. When you make the choice to follow Jesus the Holy Spirit comes to live inside your heart. And here is what the Holy Spirit living in you does IN AND FOR you.

For God will never give you the spirit of fear, but the Holy Spirit who gives you mighty power, love, and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7 (The Passion Translation)

The Greek word used for fear is “deilía“ and it means “timidity, fearfulness, cowardice”. If you are a follower of Jesus and you are fearful, you have made the choice to believe fear over believing the Holy Spirit. Someone reading this just thought, “Wait a minute preacher! There’s a lot of stuff out there that’s frightening. COVID-19 being one of them.” OK, granted there’s frightening stuff out there–but your reactions to that stuff is YOUR CHOICE! You choose PANIC, CHAOS AND PANDEMONIUM. Remember this song:

Since FEAR is a liar, what should you do? What can you do? Apply common sense:

1. Listen to and believe what the Holy Spirit tells you. He never lies and He’s told you that you don’t have The Spirit of timidity, fearfulness, or cowardice Simple enough. But if that’s not enough common sense for you, wait there’s more.
2. Wash your hands, using soap and water. It’s like a post I’ve seen a lot on Facebook: It’s 2020 and we are supposed to have flying cars but instead we’ve having to teach folks to wash their hands.
3. Use hand-sanitizer, and if the store shelves are empty, rubbing alcohol does the same, and it’s a lot cheaper.
4. If you have the sniffles, a cough, fever or body aches–STAY AT HOME. This applies to your spouse, children, grandchildren, cousins, aunts and uncles. And though your preacher loves to see you in church, she or he would rather you stay home until you are symptom free.
5. Go see your doctor at the first signs of any flu-like symptoms. Essential oils won’t help. Medicine will.

If you think yourself a follower of Jesus, having the Holy Spirit living inside your heart–AND insist that sterile face masks be issued with the bulletins by the greeters, if you insist that the church janitor sign a notarized document that the restrooms are so clean that a surgeon could operate in there, if you are afraid to take Holy Communion and that the servers wear sterile gloves, masks and gowns, putting the garb on in front of God and everybody else (same attire for those who take up the offering), then you have either forgotten what the Holy Spirit is giving us–or you never were a real follower of Jesus. And that’s the way I see it!