My life is poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart is like wax, melting within me. My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. You have laid me in the dust and left me for dead.Psalm 22, verses 14-15; from the New Living Translation (NLT)
Have you ever noticed, noticed that however you are feeling in a moment, there’s a verse in the Bible that describes it perfectly? Last night and now this morning, this particular song of David’s describes me perfectly! Oh, I know that God hasn’t laid me in the dust and left me for dead. He doesn’t do such horrendous things. Nonetheless, it’s how I’m feeling. And if you’ve followed me for a while, you know that I have the tendency to put into words exactly how I’m feeling. And my legacy continues today.
“Whatever could make you, Preacherman, feel like this?” Since you asked, I’ll tell you. My sister, Jackie died August 18, 2021. My Dad died January 14, 2022, which was Jackie’s birthday. And tomorrow, Wednesday February 1, I will settle Dad’s estate at the lawyer’s office. Last night my niece, Christa Lynn, called me about that. But we ended up talking about her Dad who died years ago, Mother who died May 26, 2018, Jackie, and my Dad for nearly an hour. We were sad and hurting. We did manage a few laughs. But we were also hurting.
I had intended to get up early this morning to go hunting, but that desire left me last night. And so did my need for sleep. It was around midnight before I went to bed–still not sleepy. So I took some Melatonin to help. And last night I had that question, and it still lingers this morning: How long, O Lord, just how long will I grieve and hurt like this? And the answer He gave me isn’t the one I wanted to hear: “Until you join them up here!”
Call it grief, sorrow, or loss, it is now a part of who I am. And if someone close to you has died, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I miss them every day–but some days, and nights, are worse than others; like last night and this morning. I really wish He had told me something other than, “Until you join them up here!” I don’t like His answer. Not even a little bit. Truthfully? I don’t like it at all! And to you who are well acquainted with grief, you may feel the same way I’m feeling right now.
And please know that it’s OK to feel this way. Grief is a sign of love. And love is one of those 3 things that Paul said will always remain, always. (Read 1 Corinthians chapter 13) But let us not, myself included, live by that energy of grief. Don’t forget the other 2 things that will always remain: Faith and Hope! It was where David turned to; it is where I am turning to; and I encourage you to do the same. I truly feel like what David wrote in our opening verses. But as with all Scriptures, do what the late Paul Harvey would say: Now you know the rest of the story:
I will proclaim your name to my brothers and sisters.Psalm 22, verses 22-24 (NLT)
I will praise you among your assembled people.
Praise the Lord, all you who fear him!
Honor him, all you descendants of Jacob!
Show him reverence, all you descendants of Israel!
For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy.
He has not turned his back on them,
but has listened to their cries for help.
He didn’t turn His back on David. He hasn’t turned His back on me. And He won’t turn His back on you. He has been listening to our cries.