Surviving Your D-Day Invasion Of Depression

I said that this would be a series about real life issues.  I told you that I would be doing some teaching on the basis of my journey over the last 47 years of this 63 year journey.  Before the divorce, when people would ask me about depression, I didn’t really understand it. 

I personally didn’t understand what it would feel like until then.  When we first separated, and then finally realized that divorce was going to be a part of my life, some of these depressing thoughts hit my head and I began to experience some emotions that I had only heard and read about before. 

It was literally a roller coaster ride; but I learned some things.  What I discovered and learned was this:  Some Things I Believed In Were True, And Some Things Were Not True.  All of the sudden I had to start living what I had taught.  It was in that season that the Holy Spirit helped me sort through a lot of things.

It was like cleaning out a closet, or a storage room.  Some of it was useful…but some of it needed to the thrown away.  I had to believe and understand and do some things so that this normal depression wouldn’t become something unhealthy.  It was a time of both demolition and reconstruction—in my heart, my mind, and my faith.

So, today, as we talk about depression, I want to continue to share some Biblical insights, some principles.  These are some things that I have implanted in my life.  We can have some issues in our lives that could lead to unhealthy depression and we want to make sure we understand and deal with these things.  That’s what we’ll be talking about today.  Let’s look at Job 6:1-11 (NLT).  Job lived in the Dark Night Of The Soul. Listen to him as he describes it.

¹ Then Job spoke again:  ² “If my misery could be weighed  and my troubles be put on the scales,  ³ they would outweigh all the sands of the sea.  That is why I spoke impulsively.

⁴ For the Almighty has struck me down with his arrows.  Their poison infects my spirit.  God’s terrors are lined up against me.

⁵ Don’t I have a right to complain?  Don’t wild donkeys bray when they find no grass, and oxen bellow when they have no food?

⁶ Don’t people complain about unsalted food?  Does anyone want the tasteless white of an egg?  ⁷ My appetite disappears when I look at it; I gag at the thought of eating it! 

⁸ Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant my desire.  ⁹ I wish he would crush me.  I wish he would reach out his hand and kill me. 

¹⁰ At least I can take comfort in this:  Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One.   ¹¹ But I don’t have the strength to endure. I have nothing to live for.“

What do people mean when they say the Bible doesn’t speak about what we go through today?  Have you ever felt like Job did here?  Have you wondered what is inside of the mind of a depressed person?  When depression reaches its fullest point of complete despair, all of the sudden we have this loss of clarity.  And that Dark Night Of The Soul covers us in a deep sadness.

Our minds become confused and we don’t know what it true, right or good.  Our mind begins to think the wrong thoughts; we become confused in our heart and mind.  When we slip from normal depression, to below the radar kind of depression, our heart becomes hopeless.  We begin to feel trapped—and our soul is on the brink of despair.  

If you forget everything else I say, remember this:  Depression Can Happen To Anyone, And Everyone Can Find Hope In Jesus. Depression Comes From Feelings Of Helplessness, Hopelessness And Feeling Alone.

If a person gets too deep into depression, they may attempt something at the darkest mode of depression, which is suicide.  I don’t know where you are.  Maybe you have attempted suicide or you know someone who has attempted it but didn’t succeed or maybe you know someone who did succeed.  I don’t know where you are.   

I do know Suicide is the darkest moment of depression.  Today we’re going to talk about how to not get to that point or if you are already there, how to get back.  But first, let’s get our minds in the right place.  Some of you think that you have it all figured out—you don’t think we could ever get to that low point. 

Job got there and so did I.  It has been said that Suicide Is A Permanent Solution To A Temporary Problem.  Some of you may be wondering why I’m talking about suicide on a Sunday morning.  But this is a real issue for our culture, and who knows, maybe it is for some of you.  Every issue we face—good and bad—has a Biblical response, and it’s my responsibility and duty to share that with you, regardless of how uncomfortable the subject makes you feel personally.

There are 2 causes of Depression; One Has Biological Causes.  There is a chemical imbalance in the brain and there are many wonderful treatments that are effective in helping people move forward.  This is not the kind of depression I’m talking about. Remember, this kind of depression is biological, though insurance companies do not treat is that way.  We treat these people differently than those who have cancer or some other physical disease. And honestly, we shouldn’t!

We should not treat them differently than a person having any other disease.  But there is another cause of depression that is not biological in origin.  It Comes Out Of Our Experiences Of Discouragement And Disappointment.  This is the form of depression we are looking at today.  Allow me to sum it up like this.  Depression Is A Negative Emotional State Of Feeling Sad, Discouraged And Dejected. 

This emotional state can lead to a sense of hopelessness, helplessness and abandonment; a sense that you can’t get away from and can’t get out of.  I believe that are two types of depression:  healthy and unhealthy. 

Healthy depression is when you have feelings of deep, inner pain.  It is when you have actual feelings of pain, sadness and disappointment from a negative life experience.  These feelings are normal and act as a warning sign in your life.  A person in this state can still function as they normally would; just not as well. 

Unhealthy depression is when emotional state leaves the person with an inability to function in the basic areas of life.  One sign is the reduced ability to concentrate.  I don’t know how many times that I would be working at the computer trying to work on a message and I couldn’t think clearly.  It felt like I was in a fog.  Another sign is to lose interest in most or all fun activities.  Add to this, uncontrollable crying—sometimes outwardly crying, most times inwardly crying.

Not dealing with depression can fill us with feelings of hopelessness.  We feel trapped.  I can tell you that in my journey of life I had this sense of hopelessness that my life was over.  I think there are some reasons that are not always cut and dry.  Experiencing a major disappointment.  Traumatic experiences that increase stress levels.  The Bible goes on to talk about other important causes. 

This may sting a little bit, but just walk with me.  Some of the causes of this Dark Night Of The Soul are

• —lack of self-esteem and self-acceptance
• —Unrealistic expectations
• —Unforgiveness towards others and yourself
• —Unresolved guilt and shame
• —Physical fatigue
• —Substance abuse
• —Physical abuse
• —Health problems. 

So, is there any hope for the hurting?  Okay, now that we’re all depressed—Here are some things I want to share with you.  First Truth:

1.  Depression Is A Normal Response To What Is Occurring In Your Life.

This is where Job is at. Look at what David said in Psalms chapter 6:2-6—

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.  My soul is in anguish.  How long, O Lord, how long?  Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.  No one remembers you when he is dead.  Who praises you from the grave?  I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.

David understood that this was a normal thing. It could affect anyone at any time.  Even the Bible hunks—Moses, Elijah, Jonah, King David, the Apostle Paul and even Jesus.  They all had these stories where they understood these lowly thoughts of depression. 

You mean Jesus had sad thoughts—times when he didn’t like what was going on?  Listen to his words in Matthew 26:38 as he is waiting to go to the cross.  My soul is very sad and deeply grieved so that I am almost dying of sorrow.  That’s Jesus.  It’s a normal thing.  It’s not a sign of weakness or a character flaw.  Some of you need to hear that.   But, if left unchecked it can distort our view of life.  We see ourselves differently. 

We see our life differently.  We see God differently.  Perception is reality in the eyes of the beholder, isn’t it? Second Truth:

2.  Depression Is Not A Sin.  It Is A Symptom.

I’ll say it again.  Depression is not a sin.  It’s a symptom.  It wasn’t a sin for Job.  It wasn’t a sin for me.  Depression is a  gauge like looking at your car gauges when your oil light comes on or how fast am I going or if the engine is overheating! 

Healthy depression is a great gauge to say, “There are things in my life that I need to understand.”  Sometimes it will point to sin that I committed or that was committed against me, unforgiveness or abuse, things you are doing to cause the problem.  It points to the problem. 

This depression is not a sin; it’s a symptom that leads you to the problem so that you can deal with it.  And sometimes, those problems are both biological and physical in nature.  There are times when this body goes haywire.  Whether the problem is spiritual or physical—depression is a symptom, not a sin. Third Truth:

3.  Depression Is Something You Go Through.  It Is Not A Destination!

Some of you have been living as a depressed person for years and years and I want to share with today that there is hope, grace, love and a way out of it.  Depression is not dead end road; there is a way through it.  Depression feels like a dead end road with no room to turn around. 

God did not design life to be a prison sentence.  But depression will make us echo the words of Job:  But I don’t have the strength to endure. I have nothing to live for. 

But depression can become a destination, a prison, it we cannot find the way to overcome it.  You can continue to move on.  You can overcome depression.  And it is here in:

Your Next Steps

1.  Get The Right Perspective.  In our life something happens to us—A D-Day invasion—and it’s OK to say, “Why me?”  But when we stay there, even when justified, it compounds the problem.  The “Right Perspective” means the Biblical world view of life.  The whole world does not revolve around you. 

And God never promised that your life will be healthy, wealthy and wise.  We live in a world that has problems; in a world that has difficulties.  We have to get the right perspective of this world we live in and get the right perspective of who we are.  Life will not always be easy but understanding who you are will help you to continue to move on. 

2.  Lean Completely On God.  Let the truth of God completely change your mind.  Let the completeness of God hold you.  Rest in His truth.  When the darkness creeps in around you say, “I can lean on God because I can trust Him completely.”  When a D-Day invasion takes your legs out from under you, God is not some crutch that only helps you to hobble along. 

God wants to make you whole through and through.  It may be that God will send you to a doctor or therapist.  It may be that medication is ordered.  Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed if He does.  I’m not ashamed or embarrassed that I take an antidepressant.  Our complete trust and hope comes from leaning on God.  That is only way we are going to make it through.  When something negative happens, you can say, “You are in control, God. You are in control and I lean completely on you.”

3.  Love Yourself.  Do you know people who are always focusing on their weaknesses and on the mistakes they have made in the past?  In my own experiences, low self-esteem and low self-acceptance kills us from the inside out.  God loves you unconditionally and He created you special just the way you are. 

So put your shoulders back and say, “I am special.  I was created and I am loved by my Creator.  I can love myself not because of who I am but because of who God created me to be in Jesus.”  Yes you can love yourself and you are supposed to.  This way, you can have a healthy self-esteem and you’ll accept yourself for who you are in Jesus.

4.  Serve Others.  We will never find inner peace more than when we are helping other people.  You should try it sometime.  That’s a Biblical concept, friends!  Serve other people.  It’s really true, that when you lose yourself for another for the cause of Christ, you really find yourself.

The breeding grounds for depression are those feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and abandonment.   And here in this moment, God reminds us that we are NOT helpless, NOT hopeless, and NOT abandoned. He is right here, right now with us.

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Episode 2

Here’s the latest edition of a different type of blog…

Essie And Prog

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When Did THAT Happen?

Though I haven’t been actively writing much lately, I have been actively thinking… more like…reflecting on the current state of affairs. I have been engaged in active observation of our culture… of the church… and though it’s given me a headache, frustrations, aggravations, agitations, and a variety of discombobulations, it has not filled me with despair nor desperation. Maybe a Goody’s Headache powder or a little 15 year old single malt–but I’m not anywhere near throwing in the towel and giving up. But I have reached a moment. It happened this evening as I was taking a shower. This moment is NOT an epiphany–but a question? Here it is:

In the book of Acts, those who committed to be Disciples of Jesus were committed to the Good News of The Kingdom of God. Their life was called Koinonia, a shared life together. Others were always more important than themselves. Sharing was natural. Caring was deeper. They hungered for more understanding of this Kingdom. This Kingdom came first. Koinonia Community marked by being TOGETHER in the Ekklesia (that’s the Greek word mistranslated as church). Ekklesia is a Greek word that means “the called out ones”. They were passionate about The Gospel of The Kingdom of God, telling that powerful story. And church today? Tenured Pew Sitters have stopped being producers for the Kingdom and started being the Consumers. As consumers, they want to church to do and be what best suits them. They want to be in control. It’s no longer about Koinonia Life, but what suits them.

Another thing, it seems there are those who think that with the passing of centuries, suddenly WE know more about what God means than the ancient writers who shared their stories. I know the saying , “With age comes wisdom.” LIE! LIE! LIE! I’ve seen way too many examples of age coming all by itself; wiðutan–that’s an old English word that means ”  a word expressing lack or want of something”. They called themselves “Progressives”, thinking that their thinking is making progress for humanity. They insist that there are parts of the Biblical Ethos that is, for a lack of a better word from me, WRONG! Progressives insist that our minds, our reasoning processes (a process that is polluted by sin in ALL of us) are better suited to guide us in life on earth. Pardon me, but isn’t that what Satan told Eve and Adam? It’s not longer about seeking, praying and listening to the Holy Spirit.

Yet another thing, unique to the U.S., is that politics will solve all our problems. Voting becomes a matter of religious preferences. It’s about which political party sits in the Oval Office, which party controls the Senate, which party controls the House of Representatives. We are about to enter a new election cycle and there will be all kinds of ads of candidates holding Bibles, talking about Biblical values, while standing in front of an American flag. Since when did Jesus give up His purpose of being The Messiah to a political party? I’m wondering if there are other responsibilities Jesus is giving up and where do I apply for it? People get all worked up over politics and say our nation is doomed because of this party, that party, that politician. Whatever happened to making our culture better through personal actions that reflect the heart, mind and glory of God? Somehow, I don’t think God is neither Democrat nor Republican. Furthermore, I strongly suspect that both parties causes God to have many a face palm moment!

Oh, I’m just getting started. Entitlement! In the words of Madea, “Oh, Lort!” Whatever happened to personal effort and goals worth WORKING toward? In an earlier blog I place much of the blame on participation trophies (Click here for that blog) People simply think that (and I call it a ‘philosophy’) I exist therefore I am owed! Look, folks, you are not owed anything simply because you breathe oxygen. It takes drive and determination to achieve success. You want us to reward mediocrity as if it were a virtue.

And then there’s “feelings”….feelings, nothing more than feelings….Got that song stuck in your head? Good. People are being lied to that you are who you feel like you are. In other words, your feelings override everything–biology, truth, reality. And to inflict as much damage and harm humanly possible, there are some who insist that God, the Creator, made you that way and that the Cross sanctifies your feelings. Well, I feel like a Billionaire, and you need to provide me with everything that would make me a billionaire. Whether I have the cash or not, give me what a Billionaire would want–a jet, huge mansion, multiple cars, you name it! After all, my feelings are that I’m a Billionaire, that’s what matters the most. Living by feelings does not liberate you–it makes you its prisoner. We are all more, much more, than our feelings!

Well, I could go on….but I’ll stop here. I’ll end with this:

The serpent told the Woman, “You won’t die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you’ll see what’s really going on. You’ll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil.”

Genesis 3:4-5, The Message

An Open Letter To Young Clergy In The North Alabama Conference

It has been nearly a month. I have had time to process it, so now I will write.

Well, I have just been to Dante’s 45th Level of Hell. Excuse me, I meant to say my 45th consecutive North Alabama UMC Annual Conference. For those unfamiliar with my Spiritual Tribe, it’s that annual gathering of pastors and laity to “do” the “business” of UMC congregations within the boundaries of the North Alabama Conference. The italics and bold font indicates it’s alleged purpose. Honestly, sometimes I wonder how much we really do and how much of what we do really is the business of the Body of Christ and the Tribe known as United Methodists or the business of our personal opinions and beliefs.

To the young clergy and and young Christians, I want you to know I heard you cries of despair; of your feelings of being neglected because you felt your voice wasn’t important. It is important, but not in the way you may think. I also heard your anger because…well…because you did not obtain the results you wanted.

It appeared that you felt like BECAUSE you are young, your voice and your beliefs are the most important one. You were disappointed that none of you were elected to attend our General and Jurisdictional Conferences…and thus you assumed we weren’t listening. Au contraire, my sisters and brothers. You were heard, and there were many times when your voices did not sound like our Head, Jesus Christ.

With youth comes many advantages, but also disadvantages. The advantages of youth are qualities and virtues we all need to reclaim. We need to reclaim the excitement of the sense of unlimited possibilities. We need to reclaim the excitement of new discoveries. We need the stepping stones of fresh perspectives. These are just a few of the things you youth can teach us old fogies.

But there are also some disadvantages to youth, disadvantages us old fogies also had. The lack of depth of wisdom comes to mind. Wisdom doesn’t come from the surface of information, but from the depths of God’s heart and mind. This takes time…a lot of time. You lack the scars of battle with the Enemy. Don’t misunderstand me on this point. I know you have faced and done battle with the Enemy…otherwise you would’t be here.

Allow me to give you the image of my son, now retired from the military. He has been in many literal battles. And when the battle was intense, he did not look to that fresh out of West Point or ROTC second lieutenant for guidance and courage, he looked to the seasoned officers who had more experience in battle. What I want to say is that experience trumps youthful enthusiasm every time. Experience helps steady the ship when the storms are intense.

Young clergy and laity, you bring much to our Table. We need what you offer. But you also need what we old fogies bring to the Table. We bring years of failure and success. We bring hearts and minds deeply rooted in the Truth of Scriptures (well most of us anyway). We also bring a knowledge of our processes.

Do not think you are unimportant because you did not get your way at the North Alabama Annual Conference 2019. The anger many of you manifested at Annual Conference did not serve your purposes at all. Take a moment to breathe, and reflect in the presence of the Holy Spirit. And for a moment, set aside all that your seminary professors told you–and simply seek the Holy Spirit–then listen.

I do not blame you for feeling disappointed. I do blame those who told you that you have the only answer for the problems ad issues of the church in the 21st century. The Body of Christ has many parts, and you are one of those parts. Bring your energy and insights to the body of Christ.

But also listen…listen to the scars of us old fogies…listen to the wisdom from above that we have because we have been on the front lines for a while. The, when it’s time for decisions to be made, contact those delegates elected, and with the spirit of grace and kindness, share your views and opinions. Those will be a part of the mix that helps us ALL, regardless of age, to move forward with the Kingdom of God.

And most of all remember Paul’s words to young Timothy. Study…learn…seek wisdom from Above. Rejoice in your successes but also learn from your failures. The scars we bear are the most fertile ground for spiritual maturity…

A Prosthetic Grace

This morning, I was “provoked” to write. It was another provocation by the Holy Spirit. And as is His habit, He provoked me through another person. It happened as I was reading the blog See, There’s This Thing Called Biology (click here to read insanitybytes thoughts). It was the one she calls “Why Do We Hate Grace?”

It made me think about the Great Debate going on in my Tribe, the United Methodist Church. While some have chosen to make it a debate about human sexuality, I see that it is something much more that this single issue. The real issue is Grace. There are some within our Orthodox Camp who show little grace to those who are struggling with their identity, but I’ll leave their narrow view of grace to another post.

I’m talking about the artificial grace from those with a progressive persuasion. They claim that because of grace, sin needs to be redefined. At the core is that the suffering of Jesus was designed to free a person from that nasty thing called sin. Grace gives us the authority to redefine everything. Not so fast, Buckeroo.

The grace that condones and encourages anyone to live outside God’s Intended Design, is not Real Grace, rather a prosthetic grace. I have nothing but deep respect admiration for our Wounded Warriors and others who have lost a limb and then proceed to live their life to the fullest through the use of that prosthetic limb. If you are one of these, know that you inspire me to do better, BE better.

But to insist that there is a form of grace that allows us to live by our desires, our feelings, our understandings–well, it’s not really grace. What I see is a progressive grace that denies people the opportunity to experience God’s Power of Transformation. And thus, their theology ceases to be progressive…it becomes regressive. Perhaps this explains the aggressive behavior of many within the progressive camp.

Listening to the stories of those who have those prosthetic limbs, I hear the difficulties and pain involved in learning to use these marvelous devices. Ask anyone who is required to use a prosthetic limb, “Which would you rather have, the real limb or prosthetic limb?”, and I believe that would answer, “The real one, of course.”

This false grace being promoted is filled with both difficulties and pain. False grace leaves no room for the true purpose of Grace–which is to engage us in a lifelong process of transformation. It is telling people you are a prisoner to your desires and feelings. And to the LBGTQI+ community I say, “God loves you, period. But His GRACE is made to liberate you from your feelings and desires about who you want to have sex with. You are not identified by your sexual desires. You are identified by the person God wants to make you. Because God is good, He will transform you into someone beautiful and wonderful.”

Grace without a lifetime of transformation??? It’s not real. It’s not grace. It’s a prosthetic to replace the real.

And remember to love God with all your heart. Love others the way Jesus loves you. And make sure all the glory goes to Him!

The Bad News, The Good News, and The Not Exactly Good News

Here is an eye-opener!

Getting To Know Us

Well, here’s my newest venture, Essie and Prog. I invite you to follow along with their story. As with any story, there has to be a “Once Upon A Time”, a beginning point. So this is where I begin…at the beginning…

Essie And Prog

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Desperation

My friend and brother in Christ, Matthew, hits on that “inconvenient truth” of 21st century churches–our loss of desperation FOR God. People are desperate for sure–but for the wrong things. Make sure you listen to the song he shares…

Matthew Winters (Honest Thoughts from a Pastor)

For the last several Sundays, I have been leading worship in a traditionally blended extension of a church in our area. The service I’m involved in is at 9:30, while the main campus (which is right across the parking lot) has services both at 9:30 and 11:00. After we were done, I slipped across the parking lot for the 11:00 service. The worship team opened with a song I had never heard until Wednesday night’s rehearsal. The song is “Fill This Place” by Red Rocks Worship. The lyrics reminded me of the desperation and the longing we should possess for God’s presence and power in our lives.

My mind goes quickly to two Old Testament accounts. The first is Joseph. He was wrestling with what some consider to be the pre-incarnate Christ. Joseph made a powerful statement – “I will not let go until you bless me.” The second account…

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Surviving Your D-Day Of Divorce

Job 3:20-26 (NLT)

²⁰ “Oh, why give light to those in misery, and life to those who are bitter?  ²¹ They long for death, and it won’t come.  They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure.

²² They’re filled with joy when they finally die, and rejoice when they find the grave.  ²³ Why is life given to those with no future, those God has surrounded with difficulties?

²⁴ I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water.  ²⁵ What I always feared has happened to me.  What I dreaded has come true.  ²⁶ I have no peace, no quietness.  I have no rest; only trouble comes.”

Let me set up today’s message with an image from the novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne, “The Scarlet Letter” set in Boston in the Puritan era.  It’s the story of a woman who conceived after committing adultery.  Because of her act she was forced to wear the Scarlet letter “A” stitched on her clothes.  It was the religious community’s attempt to fill her with shame. 

There’s another Scarlet letter that many of us have worn—The Scarlet Letter D!  When we launched this series called Surviving Your D-Day Invasions, we said that each of the attacks we would discuss come as a sneak invasion from a hostile enemy.  When you look at today’s topic of Divorce, we know that to be true.  In this series, we are looking at the Old Testament story of a man named Job.  Job did not experience divorce, but these words he wrote fit those of us who have.  I also said that we would be walking through my own personal story.  Here is the one thing I ask you to remember: 

Divorce Is A Sin, But It Never Disqualifies You From Serving God.

Today we’ll be talking about the darkest time in my life.  This is the most difficult message I have ever had to prepare or deliver.  I realize this message will not apply to all of you.  But maybe you know someone with someone who has faced or is facing The Scarlet D.

The first time I did this series was 2003.  When God first started working on me about this series and today’s topic, you have no idea how I resisted.  At the time Vicky and I had been separated, a fact known by only a very few people.  Before that, we have been sleeping in separate rooms, living separate lives.  God has an amazing sense of timing.  The first time I did this message was 1 week after I announced to the congregation I served, that we filed for Divorce. 

And even now, I still have difficulty sharing these thoughts with you.  Today is deeply personal, a reflection of what I learned as I dealt with the fact of Divorce in my life.  I never said, “Let’s try this thing called marriage, and 29 years later, if it doesn’t work out, we’ll get a Divorce.”  But sometimes, in spite of our best intentions, the path of our lives takes an unexpected turn.

Of all the “D’s” of the D-Day Invasions, Divorce can be overwhelmingly painful.  It sneaks up on two people who began a union deeply in love.  They had dreams and aspirations of what their marriage could be and should be.  For the most part, they thought their marriage would last forever.  That is until one day, when the D-Day Invasion of Divorce lands right in the middle of their home. 

Maybe some of you here have personally experienced the D-Day Invasion of Divorce.  Some of you may have seen the results of that invasion in your parent’s Divorce.  All of us have probably had friends, close friends, whose marriage became 1 of the unfortunate statistics of our culture. 

Many people are dealing with the pain, turmoil and rejection that come with Divorce.  Believers, non-believers, seekers—the D-Day Invasion Of Divorce cuts across all lines.  And because of deep misunderstanding, the church only adds to the pain.

Once we are faced with the Invasion of Divorce, how can we survive?  How can we discard this Scarlet D?  Many people feel hopeless, confused and rejected.  I looked at my failed marriage and I felt like a total failure.  God’s plan for marriage is for a lifetime.

But God also understands that we are human, we have feet of clay.  So, how do we move beyond the hurt, beyond the humiliation, beyond the pain, beyond the uncertainty of this D-Day Invasion?  Allow me to share 4 things with you that I believe work together.  Follow these steps all the way through.  Here they are:

1.  Accept Only Your Responsibility

Somewhere down the line, you’re going to have to attach some responsibility.  In all Divorce cases, one or both people were responsible.  Someone screwed up; someone made a mistake.  It may not be you but it was someone.  This once perfect thing now has division.  You cannot speak of Divorce in generalities; each case must be examined in its own situation. 

Who is responsible?  Why did it happen?  Owning responsibility is the key to surviving the D-Day Invasion of Divorce.  Accepting only your responsibility is the key to giving and accepting forgiveness where it’s needed.  Responsibility has to be attached, but through a lot of prayer, discernment, and sometimes even counseling.  Last week we talked about learning from failure.  The way we are to learn from failure is to know what’s wrong, attach responsibility for our part, learn from our mistakes and move on. 

That’s what we need to do here.  Some of the most happily married people I know are people who have learned from their past mistakes.  However, we know the statistics, don’t we?  67% of people who Divorce once will Divorce again.  Most second marriages fail also.  73% of third marriages end in Divorce. 

There has to be something there.  Be Careful Not To Take On Someone Else’s Responsibilities.  False Guilt Will Eventually Affect All Our Relationships.  But I caution you, don’t stop here.  Don’t hold on to the Deadly G’s:  Guilt And Grudges.  If Divorce is the only recourse, then it’s time to move beyond guilt, and give up our grudges.  The second step is:

2.  Work Toward Forgiveness

Once we understand who is responsible, we can begin to work toward forgiveness.  We understand that true healing requires forgiveness for wrongs done.  Forgiveness must be accepted and must be given.  Some people say, “That’s crazy!  There is no way I’ll forgive that person—it’s too difficult.”  You are right. 

It’s very, very hard.  You may be the only one that wants to work on forgiveness.  When we have been hurt and wronged we will never be healed until we forgive.  You don’t have to walk up to that ex-spouse and announce your forgiveness.  But you have to do it in your heart.  Forgiveness is saying, “I Refuse To Hold On To The Pain.  I Refuse To Live In The Past.  I Release Them From Holding Me Captive To Any Grudge Or Pain.”

You must also learn to forgive yourself.  As you work through the responsibility part of Divorce, you may find that some of the blame lies with you.  I know there were times when I was uncaring.  There were especially times when I was too busy. 

But I ended up taking a lot of the responsibility that wasn’t mine to take.  The result was that I could not forgive myself.  But in order to offer forgiveness and receive forgiveness, I had to forgive myself.  I do not know about you, but this was the hardest thing for me.  I ended up carrying a lot of guilt I didn’t have to carry around.  If you have guilt, you must forgive yourself.  This was the hardest for me.  I wouldn’t do it until I remembered: We Must Accept Forgiveness From God.  For those of us who are believers, we understand this.  No matter what we’ve done, He died on the cross two thousand years ago, and in him we are forgiven AND Cleansed. 

All we have to do is accept his grace and forgiveness and the slate is wiped clean.   You must accept forgiveness for yourself, and give forgiveness to the other person.

3.  Allow Kids To Stay Relationally Connected

We need to make sure that if kids are involved in this D-Day Invasion of Divorce, that we encourage them to stay relationally connected to both parents.  Kids of all ages are the biggest victims in Divorce. 

Kids of Divorce go through confusion and pain when their parents got divorced.  They wondered if it was their fault.  There is no sense of closure to it.  It’s true for even adult kids.  Kids of all ages need to stay connected with both parents.  It’s the best thing for the kids.

Let Your Kids See You Living Out Forgiveness.  Teach them, by your example, about owning up to your mistakes and about receiving and giving the grace of God.  Let them see you working to live at peace with your ex-spouse.  Here is a powerful opportunity to bring something good out of something horrible. 

If you, or a family member, or close friend experiences the D-Day of Divorce, and there are children involved, even grown children, it’s important for them to see the spirit of grace, the spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation at work.  Don’t Take Sides, Be A Model Of God’s Grace.  Finally, in order to move beyond the pain, and experience healing and wholeness:

4.  Align Your Different Life With God’s Principles

In my nearly 44 years of working in ministry, I’ve never met a person who didn’t want their second marriage to work.  There is only one way to do it, friends. 

That is to align our different life with God’s principles.  Many of us just need to understand that we’ve tried it our way and failed, now maybe we should follow God’s plan.  If you follow God’s principles for sex, dating and marriage, you can have a very happy marriage. 

Do you ever feel like you have The Scarlet D pinned to your shirt?  That you could never be normal again in God’s eyes because of this thing called Divorce?  Maybe there’s another Scarlet Letter pinned to your shirt.  Maybe yours is the Scarlet A—Addict, Adultery Abuser, Abused.  Maybe you know someone with the Scarlet L—Loser.  Maybe yours is the Scarlet S—Sinner!  I want to leave you with this last verse and encourage you to align your new life with God’s principles.

2 Corinthians 5:16-17 says:  In Christ We Are New Creations; The Old Is Gone, And New Has Come!

Grace is all about a fresh start.  Do you need a fresh start?  God has one for every person who is wearing any Scarlet Letter.  He will take that letter off of you and you will never have to wear again.

Next Steps

1. .  If You Are Living With Shame Put On You By Family, Church, Or Even Yourself Because Of Divorce, Bring That Shame To Jesus Right Now. The shame of anyone who wears The Scarlet D was carried by Jesus so that you do not have to carry it anymore.  No sin that anyone commits ever disqualifies them from both a relationship with God and the opportunity to be called by Him to serve Him.
2. If You Have Been Through Divorce Or Not, Read The Scriptures About Divorce WITHOUT Whatever You Have Been Taught About It.  Take 2 steps in your reading.  First, ask the Holy Spirit to be your guide and teacher.  Second, read those passages within the big picture of what God is seeking to do with ALL who have sinned.  Our God is focusing on both Redemption, and Restoration, making people useful for His Kingdom.  God chose Saul the murderer to become Paul the Apostle to the Gentiles.  If God can use a murderer, why can’t He use someone divorced in any role He wants?

HELP! SOS! HELP!

I have been called a “wordsmith” because of the ways I talk, preach, and pray. But I’ve never been called an “artist”. Heck, I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler. Therefore, I am looking for someone who can draw. And here’s why:

This morning I was reflecting on the book, “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. And I started thinking. I know, that scares the heck out of a lot of people, and perhaps it should scare them. I’m thinking about starting either a new blog, Facebook Page, Twitter account (or all of the above). Here is my vision about this new project:

1. It will be called “Essie and Prog”, 2 Senior Demons in Lucifer’s army.
2. They will have conversations (as opposed to letters between Wormwood and Screwtape).
3. Their conversations will be about the state of affairs and condition of the 21st century church.
4. Unlike the TV Series “Law and Order” that claims NOT to be based on actual events, it will be based on actual events and debates happening in the church (although the names will be changed to protect the innocent–remember the old series “Dragnet”?)
5. Essie is a woman, while Prog is a man.
6. Both have the physical appearance of being ordinary 21st century human beings.

And this is why I seeking help in the bloggersphere. I do not want to “Google” a caricature, and thus possibly violate copyrighted material. I need some drawings for both Essie (remember, female) and Prog (remember, male). These drawings do not have to be syndicated cartoon worthy drawings. Simply, creative drawings. And if you wish, I will gladly give credit where credit is due. Or not. It’s your call!

So, all of you creative people out there–GET TO BEING CREATIVE–I need your gifts of creativity! Comment below if you would be interested or find me on Facebook and private message me.

Surviving Your D-Days Of Defeat

Many of you may remember the theme of ABC’s Wide World of Sports:  The Thrill Of Victory, And The Agony Of Defeat.  Isn’t it true?  You play any sports, take a standardized test, work in sales, or just live in our culture and you will understand one thing about our culture.  We love winners.  We love champions. 

I, like most of you, have lived long enough to experience the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.  When you experience victory, the crowd cheers and you hear the roar of your name.   But, if you experience defeat, crowds “boo and hiss”, people avoid you and they reject you.  I’ve had my agony of defeat and maybe you’ve had yours.  Here’s what I’ve noticed and experienced:  People Are Drawn Towards Those Who Have Won By Defying Adversity.  They’ve Beat This Thing Called Defeat.

I think this cultural bias is why people are drawn to the story of Job.  We are using this story from the Bible to go through this series:  Surviving Your D-Days.  As we described last week, Job is the classic story of this struggle between good and evil, of someone who is a great guy who doesn’t deserve to have bad things happen to him; but who has to deal with evil things.  He has to overcome life’s most challenging obstacles. 

As we’ll see today in Chapter 2, he had to survive the worst kind of invasion—the invasion that becomes personal.  It’s different when the invasion hits our friends, work, our nation, or even our family members.  It’s not that we don’t care about what is happening to our family and friends.  But when it becomes personal, it’s a different movie all together.  For Job, this is personal; it became a personal defeat, a personal D-Day invasion for Job. 

Job 2:1-7 (NLT)

¹ One day the members of the heavenly court came again to present themselves before the Lord, and the Accuser, Satan, came with them. ² “Where have you come from?” the Lord asked Satan.  Satan answered the Lord, “I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that’s going on.”

³ Then the Lord asked Satan, “Have you noticed my servant Job?  He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity.  He fears God and stays away from evil.  And he has maintained his integrity, even though you urged me to harm him without cause.”

⁴ Satan replied to the Lord, “Skin for skin!  A man will give up everything he has to save his life. ⁵ But reach out and take away his health, and he will surely curse you to your face!”

⁶ “All right, do with him as you please,” the Lord said to Satan.  “But spare his life.” ⁷ So Satan left the Lord’s presence, and he struck Job with terrible boils from head to foot.

Job is afflicted with a painful skin disorder from head to toe.  It’s probably not that long since he was grieving in Chapter One.  Now he is grieving in a culturally relevant way.  He is sitting in a pile of ashes and he’s shaved his head but this time he’s covered in sores from head to toe from this disease. 

He is in pain, and this pain takes on a whole new meaning.  He has broken pieces of pottery and he begins to cut at his sores to relieve the pressure and pain.  Listen, defeat cuts us to the core because it’s personal.  Satan, our adversary, knows that.  However, Job shows us that the main way to survive the D-Day Invasion Of Defeat And Failure is to not let it become personal. 

It takes Job a while before he understands this.  It can’t be personal in the sense of who we are!  We may suffer defeat or may fail at things but it does not mean we are failures, and that we are forced to live defeated lives.  So, Here’s the one thing you need to remember: Getting Knocked Down 7 Times Does Not Make You A Failure, If You Get Up 8 Times.

The movie “The Rookie” tells the true story of Jimmy Morris.  Jimmy grew up in a poor town in Texas.  It was an oil town that knew defeat when its booming oil industry dried up and the town dried up too.  He had an unsupportive father.  Because of injuries he was never able to go beyond 1A Baseball after high school. 

Jimmy stayed in the same dead town and was a high school science teacher, but it’s not what he dreamed of being.  He’s coaching a losing team in a failing baseball program.  They had only won one game per year from 1996-98.  In 1999, spring baseball had begun.  The school doesn’t want this team; no one comes to see these boys play.  They play their first game and they lose. 

But more than just lose the game, Jimmy sees the bigger picture.  They aren’t just losing on the baseball field.  They are growing up to be losers.  They are growing up to be failures.  They aren’t just failing; they believe it about themselves.  After this game, he gives a speech that will forever change their life and his.  He tells them, “You’ve given up even before you started.  And the sad thing is you don’t even know it.” 

Let me ask you some questions: 

• What Kind Of Failures From Your Past Or Even Your Present Haunts You? 
• What Areas Are You Feeling An Invasion Of Defeat In Right Now?
• Have You Given Up On Dreams Because Of Some Failure? 

Have you ever said, “That’s who I am; I’m just a failure.  That’s all I will ever be.  I will always be dumb, or poor, or divorced or had or did or whatever.”?  What is it for you? 

For many of us, we have lived with or we are living now with the sense that we are a failure and that we will always be just that: A Failure.  So we live a defeated life.  We allow the invasion of defeat take control and wipe us out.  Allow me to share 4 quick lessons with you today from the life of Job, and from my own experiences:

1.  Failure Is Inevitable

Failures can be of a spiritual nature or a non-spiritual nature—both kinds are normal and unavoidable.  God understands that we are human and we make mistakes.  If you are a Christian, you have to know this to be true.  And we should be glad that God understands that we are just created from dirt. 

He knows that we are not god and not perfect.  You should know that God, who desires a relationship with you, knows you aren’t perfect.  He doesn’t expect you to be—just yet.  God understands that we are going to fail sometimes and fail miserably and that it’s unavoidable. 

We need to understand that too, so that we can deal with it in a constructive, not destructive way.  Listen, Our View Of These Life Failures Determines If We Will Truly Survive Them. 

Haunted by the jeering of his father, Jimmy Morris took one failed attempt at the Big Leagues and made that who he was.  He made one try towards his dream and put it together with what his father said and decided that’s who he was. 

He thought, “If I really was a great baseball player then it would come easily for me and failure would have been avoidable.  I am just a failure.”  He didn’t understand what the Bible says.  Failure is unavoidable and normal.

2.  Failure Is Something We Experience But It’s Not Who We Have To Be

When we make a bad decision or we make a dumb choice as a teenager, or our life as adults takes a different path than we intended, understand that It Doesn’t Define Us; It Defines Only A Moment, An Experience! 

Who Are You?  How do you answer that question?  How you answer that question speaks volumes about how you perceive yourself, your self-image and your self-esteem.  Do you answer it with the role you play in your life?  Do you answer that question with “I’m a father, mother, grandparent, farmer, retired?”

Those are roles you play.  That’s not who are you.  Listen to this:  Our Self Esteem Should Not Be Wrapped Up In What We Do But In Who We Are In God’s Eyes.  God loves you.  He says this about all of us—this is who we really are. 

We are fully loved and accepted unconditionally.  We are always forgiven when we ask.  We are special and one of a kind.  Failure is not who we are.  God never sees us that way. 

3.  Failure Is Not An Enemy

Some of us are so afraid of what people may say if we fail that we don’t take any risks.  Failure is treated as if it was cancer.  Failure is not the enemy, though often we think it is an enemy to faith.  If You Are Afraid Of Failing, You Will Achieve Small Things, But You Will Never Achieve Anything That’s Really Important. 

(Repeat that to yourself!  Say this out loud:  If I Am Afraid Of Failing, I Will Achieve Small Things, But I Will Never Achieve Anything That’s Really Important)

You will achieve some things that are easy but you’ll never achieve the passions in your heart that you really could have achieved if you had taken the risk.  The bottom line is this:  Fear Of Failure Creates Inaction.  It has a name:  Atychiphobia.  It’s living under the persistent fear of failing.

It paralyzes people and keeps them from reaching their God-given aspirations and goals.  It keeps them from moving on after the invasion of defeat has paralyzed them.  They don’t move on because they don’t want to do it anyone.

The question for those of us who are Christians should be, “What Is God Asking Me To Do?”  Even those who haven’t crossed the line of faith know something is bubbling up inside of them. 

We know what the Creator has put inside of us, what really moves us and makes us different.  We should want that and we should know that failure will come as an opportunity to learn and to grow.  Anything that helps us grow is NOT an enemy.

4.  Failure Is Not Final Unless You Give Up

God doesn’t care how many marriages you’ve been though, how many times you’ve done this or that.  That simply does not matter.  You are not a failure.  You may have failed, yes, but You Are Not A Failure Until You Give Up.  You can move on.  You can keep your eyes on your dream. 

You understand that God loves you unconditionally so that you can take responsibility for your actions and then continue to press on.  And Jimmy Morris?  He made a promise to that high school team if they made it to the District Playoffs, he would try out for a major league team.  That group of players, known as losers, not only made it to the playoffs, they won! 

In 1999 at the age of 35, Jimmy made his Major League début for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays striking out Royce Clayton.  OK, so his major league career did not last long, but how many 35 year old rookies have played in MLB?  He said, “It’s amazing what you can achieve when you don’t quit.”

Do you doubt these 4 truths?  Maybe you’re thinking, “Preacher, you don’t know how bad I’ve failed.”  Listen, on the Cross, people looked at Jesus and thought he had been defeated and that it was over.  Even those closest to Him had those thoughts. 

But Jesus’ death on that Cross had a purpose.  And that Cross was not final.  Jesus knew if He laid down His life for us that there would be a Resurrection. 

If Someone Wrote A Book On Your Life, The Most Important Chapter Would Be The Last Chapter.  Would it reveal the spirit of determination?  Or would it reveal the spirit of failure, of quitting?

It Is Not About Who You Have Been, And Not So Much About Who You Are Right Now.  It Is About Who You Are Becoming.  The only way, the only way, the only way, we can push on through life is with a connection to God.  That happens only by faith, by saying a definite YES to Jesus.

Next Step

1.   When you believe that failure is fatal, it’s toxic to your soul, heart and mind. Jesus knows how to deal with what appears to be a failure.  Remember the Cross did not have the last word.  And Jesus knows how to deal with your failures.
2.   It’s a proven fact, that the fear of failure can become stronger than our motivation.  It’s because the event of failing is mistakenly believed to be the final defining moment of our life.  Remember Henry Ford’s words:  Whether You Believe You Can Or You Can’t, You’re Right!

Surviving Your D-Days of Disillusionment

Thursday, we marked the 75^th Anniversary of the D-Day Invasion, the day that marked the beginning of the end of WW 2.  Nonetheless, it was a horrible day.  German casualties on D-Day have been estimated between 4,000 to 9,000 men.  Allied casualties were at least 10,000, with 4,414 confirmed dead on just that first day.  Stories of those from that day were stories about survival—just to get through those initial first hours—and the days that followed.

Today we’re beginning a new series called “Surviving Your Personal D-Day Invasion.”  This series addresses some of the tough issues that many of us have to face from time to time.  These Invasions Are Designed To Enslave You.  There Are No Vaccinations Against These D-Day Invasions, And No One Has Natural Immunity From Them. 

We’ll journey together through God’s word as we talk about these D-Day Invasions.  I want you to know something about this series.  I’m not teaching theory here—I’m teaching from the scars of my experiences.  I’ve learned that everything Jesus promises is absolutely true. 

The invasion may be happening right now, but it is not a battle that you have to lose.  In this series, we’re going to learn that surviving our Personal D-Day Invasion will take complete trust—and it will take complete hope—in God alone.   I want you to discover that through Christ we have overwhelming victory—no matter what we face.  This morning our passage is found in one of the most misunderstood books in the Bible.  Job 1:13-21 (NLT)

¹³ One day when Job’s sons and daughters were feasting at the oldest brother’s house, ¹⁴ a messenger arrived at Job’s home with this news:  

“Your oxen were plowing, with the donkeys feeding beside them, ¹⁵ when the Sabeans raided us.  They stole all the animals and killed all the farmhands.  I am the only one who escaped to tell you.”

¹⁶ While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news:  “The fire of God has fallen from heaven and burned up your sheep and all the shepherds.  I am the only one who escaped to tell you.”

¹⁷ While he was still speaking, a third messenger arrived with this news:  “Three bands of Chaldean raiders have stolen your camels and killed your servants.  I am the only one who escaped to tell you.”

¹⁸ While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news:  “Your sons and daughters were feasting in their oldest brother’s home. ¹⁹ Suddenly, a powerful wind swept in from the wilderness and hit the house on all sides.  The house collapsed, and all your children are dead.  I am the only one who escaped to tell you.”

²⁰ Job stood up and tore his robe in grief.  Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. ²¹ He said,

“I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave.  The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away.  Praise the name of the Lord!”

Today’s topic is Disillusionment.  I’m not talking about disappointment or discouragement.  These emotions are painful, but disillusionment is much, much deeper—and so much darker.

• Disillusionment comes when what we thought was going to happen seems to be impossible.  It is losing the ability to dream and vision about your future. 
• Disillusionment is what causes us to feel despair—the feeling that we will not survive. 
• Disillusionment is what makes us cynical—and cynicism always makes us bitter. 

We say, “Oh, I’ll never become disillusioned!”  So we turn to motivational speakers and posters.  But they don’t really help.  In fact there is a website called http://www.despair.com operated by a company called Demotivators.  Here’s their mission statement on their website: 

No industry has inflicted more suffering than the Motivational Industry.  Motivational books, speakers and posters have made billions of dollars selling shortcuts to success and tools for unleashing our unlimited potential.  At Despair, we know such products only raise hopes to dash them.  That’s why our products go straight to the dashing.  Enjoy!

The fact is that there will come a day when you will experience the D-Day Invasion Of Disillusionment.  When things start crumbling around you, you will need something to hold onto, something that’s steady and constant.  And what you may have thought you could count on—evaporates before your very eyes. 

So here’s the one thing you need to remember: The Only Way You’ll Be Able To Survive Is If You Have Learned To Put Your Trust And Hope In God Alone.  True survival for now and for eternity comes when you know God personally in a deeply intimate and personal way. 

There is classic story in the Old Testament—nearly everyone is familiar with Job.  It’s the story of a man who suffered much during his Personal Invasion, yet he was able to survive.  We’ll look at his story and others during the course of this series and learn how they did it and how you can do it, too. 

You need to understand that it wasn’t easy for Job nor did his victory come instantly.  Job was a man who loved God deeply and had life going his way.  Then comes Satan, who accuses that Job only loves God because of his blessings.  The eternal conflict between good and evil is revealed once again.

Are you experiencing disillusionment in your life today?  The disillusionment of being in a dead-end life?  Of struggling financially?  Of a crumbling health?  Of rebellious children?  Of broken dreams?  What’s disillusioning you?  Job faced his Personal D-Day Invasion.  Let’s take a look at three survival tactics Job used to survive—these same tactics worked for me and they will work for you.  Here are 3 things that Job did that you need to do in the face of Disillusionment. 

1.  Be Open And Honest About Your Grief.

Job didn’t try to hide the pain in his life—he grieved openly and admitted his suffering.  In order to get beyond pain and experience healing in our lives, we have to grieve. 

Too often, we try to mask our pain through denial, through superficial spirituality, through a drink or pill, or some other thrill.  Job doesn’t do this.  And he doesn’t resort to clichés, “Hallelujah; I’m just going to let go and let God.  I’m just going to claim my victory.” Instead, Job Grieved.  He tore his clothes, he put on sackcloth, covered himself with ashes, and he began to mourn. 

This is how grief was expressed in his time and culture.  And in doing this he was telling everyone there that he was grieving—he was being open and honest about his suffering.  It’s normal to grieve. 

In fact, it’s abnormal not to grieve.  Through grief we can express our feelings about the situation.  This is what Job did—He expressed all his feelings about the situation.  Through grief, we are able to gripe and express our desire for the circumstances not to be true.   

Job was brutally honest with God, and when we go through struggles, we can be brutally honest with God about what is going on in our lives.  Grieving helps us to express the effects that we’ve experienced from the impact of The Invasion.  We can begin to tell God and even other people how we really feel. 

Grieving has a purpose.  It Forces Us To Become Honest With Ourselves So That We Can Begin Making The Necessary Changes In Our Lives.  Grieving gives a chance to ask the hard questions that we need to ask—“Why did this happen?  Is it God’s will?  Did God do this?  Is it my fault?”  As we ask the questions, we can then begin to discover the source of our disillusionment. 

Like Job, sometimes it’s the result of evil, like planes flying into buildings.  Sometimes, it’s the result of wrong choices on our part.  Through either situation, there are lessons to be learned, and we can’t learn them until we Grieve, until we ask the tough questions.  That’s the first tactic to handling disillusionment.  The second is:

2.  Choose To Put Your Complete Trust In God.

We don’t know how long Job grieved, but we do know there was a day when he stopped.  He grieves, but he doesn’t stay in grief. 

Did you notice verse 21?—“Then Job fell to the ground and worshipped God!”  Real trust comes only through a personal relationship with God.  I want to make sure you understand this. 

We can do a lot of different things to feel good once in a while—but true faith, true trust comes only through a personal relationship with God.  When we trust or value anything more than God, guess what happens?  We’re setting ourselves up for Disillusionment. 

You can’t trust in your money; money can be lost.  You can’t trust in your skills; there are some things your skills can’t get you through.  You can’t trust in your relationships; relationships can unravel.  Where do you put your trust and hope?  If you put it anywhere else than God for here now and for eternity later, you will become a disillusioned person.

I Have Learned That I Can Trust In God Because He Loves Me Unconditionally.  It doesn’t matter what I’ve done, what I’m doing, or what I will do.  God loves me unconditionally and I cling to this truth.  And so can you!  I discovered that I can cling to this truth and I can trust God because He’s always in control.  In your D-Day Invasion, you need to know who’s in control.  God is—and you can trust in God. 

Yes, sometimes bad things happen, but God is still in control.  I can trust God because He loves me unconditionally.  He is in total control.  He knows what’s going to happen.  Most importantly—He promises to never leave me and to always be there.  Here’s a third tactic to help you through the invasion of disillusionment:

3.  Restate Your Eternal Hope In Jesus.

We all need to believe in dreams—to believe that we have a purpose and can achieve great things.  We should desire to be effective and successful.  We should want to be the best that we can be and drive hard towards it.  However, when these positive thinking traits are not balanced with the real world and real life and the sovereignty of God, we can become Disillusioned. 

When we develop unrealistic expectations, we’re setting ourselves up for Disillusionment.  There’s a hard truth we have to face—The World Doesn’t Revolve Around You And It Doesn’t Revolve Around Me.  Sometimes we have a hard time believing that, but it’s true. 

Believing that the world revolves around you is a sword that cuts you down.  We have these expectations that we should shoot for but when we don’t balance it with reality we become Disillusioned.  It’s great to dream, and we need to work toward those dreams.  Just remember:

Jesus said that life would be hard sometimes.  But he also promised to help us overcome.  We can walk around angry and disillusioned and wish things could be different, or We Could Stop And Take Responsibility For Our Own Stuff.  We Can Stop And Re-Evaluate Our Priorities—And Focus On What’s Really Important. 

Really, what’s more important to you—to have a big house and a new car, or to play catch with a child?  It’s your choice.  It’s perspective, isn’t it?  This sword cuts us down when we’re not honest with ourselves about our passions, our purpose in life, and about our time constraints.  Re-Evaluate Your Expectations.  Prioritize Your Life.  Set Your Face, Values And Priorities With God And Continue To Move Forward.

The economy can crash, relationships fall apart, health declines, but God is always the same.  Our hope is in Jesus.  It’s the confident expectation that God is willing and able to fulfill the promises that He has made.  Christian hope is based on Who He Is And What He Can Do, not on you and me.  It’s not based on our circumstances. 

With Christ, we are able to rise above our circumstance no matter what they are because of who God is.  Do you need that kind of hope?  That firm foundation of trust?   Are you wondering where your hope can be found? 

It can only be found in the one who knows your past and loves you anyway.  He Promises To Hold Your Hand In The Present And Has Your Eternal Security In His Heart And It’s Secure In Him.  Hope and trust in God alone is the backbone of this whole series.  It’s how we can survive and even learn to thrive in our D-Day invasions. 

Next Steps

1. If You Are Hiding Your True Feelings, Be Honest With God.  You need not be afraid of telling God how you really feel.  He already knows and He’s so full of grace and love for you, He can handle whatever it is you are feeling.

• When Your Life Is Invaded By Disillusionment, Talk It Out!  I am always available to you.  But find someone who will listen as you grieve, and at the right moment, offer you hope.  Make it someone who won’t say “Let go and let God” or some other cute phrase.  Make it someone who will listen to you, AND the Holy Spirit.

God Chooses You!

(Sermon for June 2, 2019)

I remember playground games.  Whether it was softball, kick-ball, football or dodge ball, we would divide into teams.  Sometimes the teacher would select captains, sometimes 2 would just volunteer.  But one thing I remember most, is that in the process of selecting teams, no one wanted to be the last person picked.  It meant people didn’t see much in you, that you lacked the skill necessary to be a vital part of the team.  Being picked last was often humiliating.  As we celebrate Communion, I want you to know that in God’s eyes you are never the last person picked for God’s team!  Let’s look at today’s passage from Ephesians 1:3-14 found in The Message

^3-6 How blessed is God!  And what a blessing He is!  He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in Him.  Long before He laid down earth’s foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love.  Long, long ago He decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure He took in planning this!)  He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved Son.

^7-10 Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, His blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds.  And not just barely free, either.  Abundantly free!  

He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans He took such delight in making.  He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in Him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

 ^11-12 It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.  Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone.

^13-14 It’s in Christ that you, once you heard the truth and believed it (this Message of your salvation), found yourselves home free—signed, sealed, and delivered by the Holy Spirit.  This signet from God is the first installment on what’s coming, a reminder that we’ll get everything God has planned for us, a praising and glorious life.

Today is the most important day in your life.  Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not next week or next year.  This leads me to the one thing you need to remember from today’s message:  God speaks of his relationship with you in permanent, irrevocable terms of adoption, ransom and guarantee.  God chooses you, and that will never change.

If you’ve ever felt unsure about your usefulness in God’s plans or if you are acceptable to God, then I want you to pay close attention for the next few minutes, because these few verses tell you three important things about You in God’s eyes.  Embrace these 3 truths into your life, you will experience a greater sense of self-worth and more spiritual confidence than you have ever known. 

1.  You’ve Been On God’s Mind From The Beginning.

Go back to my image of standing on the playground.  At first, you were just part of a crowd, but now selections have been made and now you are standing alone, and the captain who has the last pick, says “Oh well, I guess I’ll have to take them.”  I think all of us can relate to this feeling; we all know what it is like to be the last chosen—the least talented in at least some area—academically, athletically, musically, and so on.  But there is an area where you never need feel that way: Your Relationship With God. 

Probably all of us have wondered, at one time or another, “If they had it to do all over again, would they choose me?  Would they hire me?  Would she marry me?”  Maybe some of you have even thought, “If Jesus had to do it over, would He die for me again?”  Some of you may believe that you have been such a disappointment to God that you would have been better off not to have been born.  The message from God is the exact opposite. 

The message from the heart of God is that you are accepted not because He had to, but because He wanted to.  You are part of His plan.  From The Beginning, He Has Wanted You To Be A Member Of His Family.  Whether or not you think it’s possible, the Bible makes it clear that God Believes It Is Possible.  Whether or not you believe in your potential, God Believes In Your Potential.  You are part of His plan.  

God knew that you would be where you are today in all areas of your life.  He knew you would be here at this moment and for some, it may have been a rough ride.  There may have been mistakes and disappointments along the way and you may have wanted to give up many times.  Even though your past may be littered with failures, it doesn’t change the fact that God Loves You, He Chooses You, And He Believes In You.  You have been, are now and will always be on His mind and in His heart.  This is RANSOM!

2.  You Belong To God, And That Will Never Change.

This passage defines your relationship with God in permanent terms.  It says, first of all, that we have been adopted.  The citizens of Ephesus understood the significance of adoption, because it was common in their society. Adoption wasn’t just a case of parents choosing to provide a home for a parentless child. 

Adoptions also frequently occurred for business or political reasons—for one grown man to adopt another grown man to ensure that his wealth and power were passed on in the way that he intended it to be.  The Most Important Thing To Remember Is That Adoptions Were Irrevocable.  A man could disown his birth son, but could not disown his adopted son.  It was a permanent relationship. 

Paul said, “You’ve been Adopted into the family of God.  Get comfortable because He’s not going to give up on you.”

3.  Everything You Need, You Can Have.

Jesus didn’t die on the cross just to abandon you now.  God is generous.  He doesn’t withhold His kindness, His love, His mercy, His forgiveness, His compassion, or His blessings from you.  He showers you with kindness.  He will lavish His generosity on you, If You Are Willing To Receive It. 

It’s not just about your physical needs; he is referring to your spiritual and emotional needs as well.  God will give you All The Joy You Need—All The Love You Need, All The Faith You Need, All The Mercy You Need, And Much More. 

You may have spent most of your life thinking that you had to manufacture these things on your own, and that most of the time God is ticked off that you don’t do a better job at it.  You may have spent most of your life thinking that God doles out blessings only with great resistance, and only to the most deserving. 

The truth is, He Wants To Shower His Kindness On You.  Everything you need, He wants to provide.

See your relationship with God in a new way—in a non-adversarial way.  God isn’t mad at you.  He isn’t sorry that He chose you.  And if He had to do it over, He Would Die For You Again.  Why?  Before you were born, you were on His mind and IN His heart.  He chooses You to be His very own.  You belong with Him, and that will never change.  And He will be with you every step of the way, blessing you with what you need each and every moment.

How do I know this?  Even more important, how can YOU know this?  You and I can know this without a doubt because the Holy Spirit is given as our guarantee.  “Guarantee” Is A Term That Means The Assurance That Another’s Obligation Will Be Fulfilled. 

It comes from a Hebrew word that means “a pledge”—God has made a pledge to fully restore you back to His Intended Design—To be the you He created you to be.  Until that work is finished He gives us the Holy Spirit, as His Personal Pledge. 

The presence of the Holy Spirit is the assurance that God’s commitment to you will not stop until the final result—We become exactly like our Intended Design—The Perfect In Every Detail Reflection Of God.  We come to the table, the ONLY Table where it all starts, where we are called to live, and one day where it will be completed—the Table of Grace…

Next Step

This week it’s rather simple:  Find where God is at work and join with Him.  After all, He has chosen you to work with Him!  Or, find a place where you know God wants to work, and get started.  After all, He wants you to work with Him!

Bishop Achrestos Addresses the South Carolina Annual Conference

My annual conference opens this afternoon. How I wish every delegate would read this.

Hermit Preacher

(How sad it is that the state of the UMC is such that any satire must be clearly labeled as such. This is satire. It is more tragic satire than comic. It is akin to the irony of, “I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.” However, I can imagine any number of U.S. bishops who could deliver this message as written and with a straight face. So, I reiterate: This is satire. Bishop Achrestos offered us assurance and calm following the 2019 General Conference. While the bishop is fictional, all events, quotes, and actions he describes are actual. One may take issue with their characterization or their significance but not the reality.}

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