Throw It Out There Thursday News Flash

(Writer’s Note: This is NOT an endorsement of any elected official, nor is it denouncing any political party. Any resemblance to this is strictly satirical)

On December 18, at approximately 8:23 pm E.T., Wisdom was viciously attacked in Washington D.C. by a mob of 230 men and women leaving Wisdom with life-threatening injuries.  Wisdom was quickly taken to Walter Reed Medical Center and is reportedly on life-support.  A team of doctors there, along with a team from Johns Hopkins and the Mayo Clinic have joined their efforts to bring Wisdom back from what seems to be the brink of death.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, an aide of one of the attackers told this reporter, and I quote, “It’s about time!  Wisdom is an aged fool that keeps getting in the way of our plans and agenda.  Wisdom needed to go into retirement on a deserted island.”  I managed to locate Wisdom’s twin, Common Sense.  Common Sense has been in a weakened state for years due to not being used.  Common Sense told this reporter, again I quote, “I have long dreaded this day.  I now fear my own death is more imminent now that ever.  If my twin, Wisdom dies, then I shall also die.”

Lady Liberty arrived as soon as she heard about Wisdom’s condition.  In a prepared statement she said, “I am gravely concerned about the future of Wisdom.  Your founding fathers relied heavily upon Wisdom to form this republic.  Even those founders who did not believe in the God of the Judaeo-Christian heritage, recognized both the importance and need for Wisdom.  They knew this Republic would never last without Wisdom.  And myself?  If Wisdom dies, I know that they will successfully kill me.”

It is my personal observation that throughout the history of this famed republic that Wisdom has been attacked many times.  Each time Wisdom prevailed.  But this time?  I am left unsure.  All we can do is watch and wait.  We will stay on top of this developing story until Wisdom dies; or Wisdom prevails.