A Very Special Thank You

This post is to say “Thank You” to three very special groups: The News Media, The Entrepreneurs, and The Collectors (otherwise known as HOARDERS). In a time when gratitude seems to be rarely appreciated as a virtue and even more rarely expressed, it behooves me to be both grateful and express my gratitude. In these times I feel the need to give each of these groups the recognition they so rightly deserve, as well as a note of “Thanks” for what they have done and continue to do.

THE NEWS MEDIA

First to the news media folks. Where do I begin? There are so many things you are responsible for that needs to be recognized, along with my thanks. Why not start with the biggie? Thank You for bringing the COVID-19 CORONAVIRUS to everyone’s attention. We would have never known about it if it were not for your diligence. You have sounded the alarm for the whole world to hear. But I have to ask, “Why didn’t you warn us about the other Influenza Viruses, like Swine Flu, H1N1 for example. More people have been infected by this virus and died from this virus than with the Coronavirus. But you didn’t bother even to notify anyone of this more potentially deadly virus. Hey! But to your credit you did warn us about Coronavirus.

And the way you have presented this news, is absolutely out of this world. You have painted a picture that Coronavirus is related to the swarming locusts, just waiting to fall out of the sky and kill us all. You rarely , if ever mention that this latest virus has a 97-98% survivability, which is right in line with Type A and Type B Influenza strains. But this fact never got in your way did it? THANK YOU for ignoring facts in order to get out the warning.

And because of YOU, NEWS MEDIA, there is more than Spring in the air. It’s full blown paranoia and pandemonium. The result of this paranoia and pandemonium is that many small busy owners, those Mom and Pop, the Family businesses are about to go under. More than income, many will lose their homes because they took out a second mortgage to build their dream. Thanks for crushing their dreams and ensuring that Mega-Businesses will step in and take their place. THANK YOU for pushing out small businesses. Leave business to the Big Guys.

I don’t know what you were thinking when you created this monster. I’m really trying to understand your perspective. If I could just see what’s going on inside your heads maybe I would understand it better. But there simply are some things I WILL NEVER DO; taking a walk inside your minds is one of those things. So, I say THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR UNLEASHING PANIC, PANDEMONIUM AND THEIR SISTER, FEAR!

THE ENTREPRENEURS

All I can say to you Entrepreneurs is WOW! You had the vision and foresight to clear the shelves and place toilet paper and hand sanitizer on E-Bay and Amazon Marketplace. Not only that, but you had the courage to price those items 10, 20, even 30 times their manufacturers suggested retail prices. You, yes YOU ENTREPRENEURS, had for a while, the world at your feet. You took one of the things that made this nation great, ingenuity, and took it to a whole different level!

THANK YOU for making it difficult for people who really needed those items. You revealed your true character in the ways you took advantage of this current crisis. You made your prices so high, that the poor and working poor could not even afford those items. But you knew that there would be idiots and morons who would pay whatever price you posted. And your wealth would have increased even more had E-Bay and Amazon not pulled your ads. But I am sure you will find another way to dig deeper into the pockets of your neighbors and fellow Americans. THANK YOU FOR SHOWING THE POWER OF GREED AND BEING SO INCONSIDERATE OF YOUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS.

THE COLLECTORS–KNOWN AS HOARDERS

I have saved my last THANK YOU for those who can always be counted on to increase daily sales revenues and sales tax collections for local and state governments whenever there is a crisis. Yes, you HOARDERS are providing an economic stimulus unparalleled by anything or anyone else. Big Corporations count on you to help provide those extra big bonuses at the end of the year for that inner circle that does little to produce anything for the whole year.

THANKS to you HOARDERS in this current crisis, people who can’t afford to rush out and buy their BASIC NECESSITIES of life, are reminded that the poor are nothing but a burden to society. You are sending them a clear message that their life doesn’t count for much, if anything. THANK YOU HOARDERS FOR SHOWING EVERYONE THAT LIFE ISN’T ABOUT OTHERS–IT’S ABOUT SELF! THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PETTY AND INCONSIDERATE OF OTHERS. THANK YOU FOR REMINDING US ALL TO DISREGARD ALL OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.

A final word to THE NEWS MEDIA, ENTREPRENEURS, AND HOARDERS:

Now, if you will excuse me, I’m trying to find out if the government still has any of those vacated ICBM silo bunkers for sale. Think I’ll isolate there until this stupidity goes away.

GUIDE TO MANAGING AND MANEUVERING THROUGH COVID-10 CRISIS–ALL You Need To Know

I’ve made many satirical and snarky comments and analysis about the current News Media fed panic about COVID-19. Some of those comments were made in private conversations among friends and family, and a couple of snarky comments via social media (see the above graphic as an example). But today, though I usually reserve Friday’s for something funny, I want to be serious, transparent and truthful.

Here is your complete, yet simple GUIDE TO MANAGING AND MANEUVERING THROUGH COVID-19 CRISIS. For this to effectively work, you must first take a moment to breathe in deeply. Hold that breath and imagine it’s everything you’ve heard, been told, or assumed about COVID-19. Now exhale and as you do imagine that everything you’re heard, been told, or assumed is leaving your mind with that breath. Have you done that? If you are still have any of what you’ve heard, been told, or assumed still in your mind, repeat the process until you reach ultimate Zen. OK, let’s get going to the truth:

1. Understand the difference between a PANDEMIC and an EPIDEMIC

This is absolutely the first step, and the longest section of this blog. Without this knowledge you will dive deeper and deeper in fear and chaos. The word PANDEMIC is being tossed around like a football. I call your attention to that famous line from The Princess Bride:

According to the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia a PANDEMIC “refers to an epidemic that has spread over several countries or continents, usually affecting a large number of people”. Do not panic at the word EPIDEMIC. By definition (of the CDC as well as epidemiologists) an EPIDEMIC “refers to a sudden increase in the number of cases of a disease above what is normally expected”. Stay calm because we need to understand these definitions and their appropriate applications.

Look at this part of the definition of EPIDEMIC: a sudden increase in the number of cases of a disease above what is normally expected. To help, I’ve emphasized those last 2 words. Here’s an example and application. The World Health Organization and the Center for Disease Control normally expects 3 cases of Spotted Zebra Measles (not a real disease). In 2018 they had exactly 3 cases. Normal, right?

But in 2019 they find 6 cases of Spotted Zebra Measles. By definition, since the number of Spotted Zebra Cases have doubled, from 3 to 6, we have an EPIDEMIC. The 6 cases were not normally expected. Are you with me so far? Good. Now let’s imagine that 2 of those 6 cases were in 2 other countries. You now have a PANDEMIC. Remember that a PANDEMIC refers to an EPIDEMIC that has spread over several countries or continents, USUALLY affecting a large number of people. Two is not a large number–however it does fall outside the parameters of NORMALLY EXPECTED. And notice that word in the definition of PANDEMIC: USUALLY affecting a large number of people.

Not always affecting a large number of people; just usually. And what defines a large number of people? Now apply all this to COVID-19. Less than 1 out of 500,000+ people world-wide have had presumptive positive tests for COVID-19. Only 1 out of 500,000 isn’t a large number. BUT, because of the first case of COVID-19 exceeded normal expectations, you have an EPIDEMIC and because it’s been found in other countries you have a PANDEMIC.

Let’s put all this in PERSPECTIVE. Since 29 September 2019 there have been 207,466 confirmed cases of Type A and Type B Influenza in the United States. Can we agree is 207,466 is a large number? Presumptive Positive cases of COVID-19 are minuscule compared to 207,466. In the same period there have been an estimated 16,000 deaths from Types A and B Influenza in the United States, primarily among young children, elderly adults, and those with chronic health issues. Yet, there is NO Epidemic because these numbers have not exceeded what has been established as NORMAL.

I’m not insisting that you go forward with reckless abandon and ignore potential dangers. That would be like seeing decaying boards on a swinging bridge over a 5,000 foot deep crevice and saying, “Oh, those decaying board will hold me up!” But there are some simple guidelines you can follow.

2. Practice Good Hygiene

Regularly wash your hands using both soap and water. This ancient practice (FYI–it was given to the Hebrews as a law from God) is time tested and a proven method for remaining healthy. In addition to soap and water, you can use hand sanitizer during the day. HOWEVER avoid using any of the online HOMEMADE VARIETIES. Unless the alcohol contention is greater than 60% they are not effective. You cannot know this unless you have a degree in chemistry and a lab at home to test it. If your local store has sold out of hand sanitizer because of the rush of idiots, you can use undiluted Isopropyl rubbing alcohol or undiluted hydrogen peroxide. Both are proven to kill the COVID-19 Virus as well as both Type A and Type B strains of Influenza.

3. Keep Personal Spaces Clean

Put tissues in the garbage can and don’t leave them on a desk, table, vehicle, or chair. Wipe areas down regularly. Again, simple soap and water does the trick if packaged wipes are unavailable. Remember rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide.

3. Stay Home

If you have sniffles, cough, body aches or fever–don’t share your marvelous presence under any circumstances. I missed my last family Christmas with my Mother before she died because I had the flu. I also missed the first family Christmas after she died because of the flu. Don’t consider it just a simple cold or allergies. Go to a clinic or doctor for an accurate diagnosis. Don’t trust self-diagnosis. This applies to you, your spouse, your significant other, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins all the way to your 7th cousin twice removed, as well as the stranger within your gates. And please don’t expect your pastor to pay you a visit!

4. Don’t Visit Others Who Are Sick

This step is for you compassionate folks. Whether someone is isolated at home, or especially in a hospital don’t go visit them to show that you care. You can call them (letting them know why you are not there in person), send flowers or a fruit/snack basket. If they are at home and you want to bring them over a meal, call ahead and let them know what you are doing and when you get there, ring the doorbell or knock on the door and leave the food in a designated location. Add a nice handwritten note as well. Avoid nursing homes as much as possible to avoid spreading the Influenza or catching Influenza. As much as you may want to see a family member who is sick, show them how much you care by waiting until they are well.

5. Carefully Plan Your Shopping

This step really makes sense. The more often you are in a public setting the greater the probability you will come in contact with someone who has the Flu and has chosen to have no respect for human life and ignored Step 3. Don’t go to a store each time you need something. Change your menu, or adjust your plans as much as possible. Make a list and go once a week or every other week if possible. Some businesses will allow you to order online or with an app and you can simply drive up to the designated location, or walk to a specific location and everything is ready for you.

This is neither Rocket Surgery or Brain Science folks. Simple precautions and a hefty dose of common sense will begin to ease both the panic and stupidity that is currently in over-abundance. You are going to be perfectly alright….unless you see this in your neighborhood…