The New Form Of Child Abuse That’s Become Acceptable–Throw It Out There Thursday 30 January 2020

(DISCLAIMER: Remember that Throw-It-Out-There Thursday may be considered offensive to some. This week’s post may be offensive to many. Reader caution is advised.)

Last week I said one day I might deal with this subject. Well that day has come. Today’s subject is about what has become to many an acceptable form of child abuse. I am NOT making light of child abuse that happens every day. I’m with Jesus on abusing and misusing children. He said in Matthew 18:6–“But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck.

But there’s a new form of child abuse that has become acceptable, even considered politically correct. No one is going to jail for it. There is little or no outcry against this misuse and abuse of children. And the greatest tragedy is that there are adults who will say I’m wrong and accuse me of ignoring real child abuse. This issue IS real abuse of children. So consider this the voice of a prophet who feels like he’s crying out in a wilderness.

Here is the New Acceptable Form of child abuse: People are treating children as if they are adults. The other day I was getting my daily dose of Andy Andrews In The Loop podcasts and he was addressing this very issue. Many have lost the reality–and I don’t mean the “reality TV” kind of reality, but real, as it actually happens realitythat children are NOT fully equipped adults capable of making the best decisions about their life. Heck (pardon my French), I know a lot of “adults” who are NOT fully capable of making the best decisions about their life. And it seems to me, in my humble opinion, that adults who are NOT fully capable of making the best decisions about their life are encouraging their children and parents of children to allow children to make adult-level decisions.

But a 3 year old, 6 year old, 8 year old, 12 year old, 17 year old–they are not fully capable of making decisions for and about themselves. Yes, as they get older and IF they are given the proper wisdom, they can begin to make some decisions–but still they are NOT fully capable of making the best decisions about their life. How they “feel”, what they want–this is why discipline is so essential and important.

By discipline I don’t mean punishment–I’m talking about teaching children to give up one thing in order to obtain something much better. Discipline equals training. Would you want an untrained military protecting your nation? Would you want untrained doctors operating on you? Would you want an untrained plumber working on your home? Then why in blue blazes are so many refusing or afraid to discipline their children? It’s like saying those children are NOT really important. And that, my friends, is CHILD ABUSE!

Children need to understand that they are not the Final Authority. They do not have the wherewithal to make adult level decisions. Yet this is what’s happening. A few years ago a friend of mine was telling me about something that happened to his daughter, a Kindergarten teacher. One year a “mother”, and I use this term very loosely; maybe I should say “the person who gave birth to this child”–came in and told her that her child was exploring to find themselves. One day her son may come to school as a girl, and the next come as a boy. And this alleged Mom wanted the teacher to treat and call that child according to the way they were dressed on that particular day. Child abuse, I say, Child Abuse!

They are allowing and even encouraging them to live by their “feelings”. I now refer you to a previous post, Is It Safe To Live According To Our Feelings? It is never safe to live solely by our feelings. And you can’t just do that. You could say, “But their heart’s in the right place.” NO IT’S NOT! NO! NO! NO! And yes, I hit the cap lock and bold on purpose! Stop the abuse of NOT ‘training’ / ‘disciplining’ children by treating them as fully functional adults capable of making wise decisions. The truth is, they are not capable. But they can be capable with discipline and giving them wisdom.


5 thoughts on “The New Form Of Child Abuse That’s Become Acceptable–Throw It Out There Thursday 30 January 2020

  1. It is never okay to live according to your feelings as an adult not to mention as a child.

    I see a lot of child abuse this days even here in Nigeria. They appear so subtle and parents don’t see the harm they are causing. The society also applauds these acts. They call it, “Modern way of raising your children.”

    This leaves me wondering if the 50s and 60s are better off than now.
    As little as our voices are, lets continue to lend it out. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for bringing this up, Pastor.

    As a parent educator, I teach my parents that the goal of discipline is to teach SELF-discipline. We are not born with self-control, it must be learned, and how will our children learn it if we do not first model it for them?

    I have some first hand experience with “gender exploration” or whatever you wanna call it. It’s not all uncommon in kids to be curious about the gender that they are not, and sometimes it is expressed as a desire to “be” the other gender. There’s no need to freak out over it, it is developmentally NORMAL for preschoolers to be curious about, and want to explore, the differences in gender. That curiosity is expressed in a variety of ways, such as wanting to wear opposite gendered clothing, being referred to as the opposite gender etc. When parents express concern over these behaviours, I advise them not to make a big deal of it. If your daughter wants to wear “boys” clothes, there’s no harm in allowing her to do so. If your son wants to paint his nails, let him. It’s harmless, who cares? When they outgrow their curiosity, they’ll probably outgrow the behaviours too. And if they don’t outgrow them, if your daughter feels more comfortable wearing “boys” clothes, well jeez, people ARE allowed to have preferences you know. It doesn’t automatically make you “gender-dysphoric”.

    What is disturbing is the number of parents who see gender curiosity in their child- again, a normal developmental stage – and immediately jump on the trans-wagon.

    Let me be perfectly clear, if you, as a parent, start messing around with your child’s sense of self, you WILL mess them up. It may be well-intentioned (though horribly misguided) but it IS a form of abuse, the trauma of which the child may very well carry long into adulthood, unless treated. I don’t understand why a parent would want to risk that against the very small chance that the child is genuinely dysphoric, and even then, watchful waiting is advised until the child is developmentally old enough to be able to participate in the decision making.

    If your 8 year old came to you and said, “I think I’d like to live for the rest of my life without my left leg”, would you oblige them? Of course not.

    Responsible parents do not allow their minor children to make life altering decisions for themselves. Period.

    Liked by 1 person

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