Hurt By The Church?


This is a real issue and a real problem for those who have been hurt; for churches who inflicted the pain; and for churches who are trying to be faithful to the work of The Kingdom Of God who are ignored by those who have been hurt.  In October of 2015 Jonathan Hollingworth wrote a great piece that I offer for your reading.  Jonathan says it much better than I can.  Here is the link:  What Not To Say To Someone Who’s Been Hurt By The Church  And remember:

Love God with all your heart.  Love others the way Jesus loves you.  And make sure all the glory goes to Him!

7 thoughts on “Hurt By The Church?

  1. Do you even know anyone who has not been hurt by the church? I think church is a full contact sport, isn’t it? Sure seemed like it to me.

    Years ago on another blog far, far away, I once posted asking HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HURT BY THE CHURCH? and I posted a picture of a pack of ravenous wolves shredding their prey in a bloody carnage. That post earned me the most traffic on a blog I ever got.

    I am hurt by the church – A LOT OF THEM! I have been kicked in the teeth by Christians all my life. Men and women of God who had no qualms with playing dirty and mean. And being stupid about it too!

    And that is basically true across the board, no? But wait, now I am saying NO CHURCH IS PERFECT… oops. Which is true.

    And I must forgive if I want to be forgiven, no? I am sure I read that in Mark just today! oops, there I go again.

    The truth is the truth and it hurts, I am afraid. But I am still in standing conflict with some of these people even as I write this. And the fact is they are wrong about their crap. I would not take such a stand if they weren’t. In fact, as my boy and I read Mark today, we notice that Mark’s Jesus sure seems to have a soft spot for all those humble crowds of peasants and sinners following him around. Even tax collectors. But those Pharisees cant even ask a simple question about washing hands and copper pots but what Jesus reacts very confrontationally. And heaven help you if you ask for a sign from him! He will call you a sinful and adulterous generation and then blow you off! And funny thing is, these are the people he would meet to worship with at temple and possibly some synagogues. But he neither seeks reconciliation with them nor demands an apology. They just don’t seem to count.

    But then he seems to get a bit aggravated with his own disciples a few times too. In fact, they seem quite scared of him a lot of the time.

    Not sure what to make of this. I thought I wanted to be like Jesus, but Mark’s Jesus is one caustic dude. Rub him wrong and he will throw tables at your worship service and then preach parables against you to the congregation! No wonder they killed him. You cant hardly have church with a guy like him around!

    Wow! I was trying to be like him and I am kicked out of the church too!


    Weill, I will say this. I am quite sure that when someone is hurt by the church and they are fresh in their wounds, these words “no church is perfect” and “seek reconciliation” are not the whole answer, probably not a timely answer, and certainly are not comforting. I do think they are a part of the answer if that can be had. At least I regularly pray FOR the church that kicked me out. I even thank God for them, recognizing they are not perfect. Despite themselves, the do some good things that really help folks. And I ask God to bless them. But what they did to me was still wrong, and so are a lot of things they do. Some of what they do is real damaging. But then when not so perfect people get together, that happens.

    God help us!

    Anyway, I am not solving anything with this response. But then I don’t see the post as solving the problem either. I will grant that with the wrong timing, tone, and so forth, such messages will be salt in the wound. But they are true statements that can and sometimes do play a part in healing.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I read somewhere (don’t remember who wrote it) that the church is the only army in the world that shoots its own wounded. And that, my brother is a shame and disgrace. This is a messy issue, but then aren’t all human issues often messy? As I’m sure you are discovering that simplistic answers are in truth, no answers. The truths of forgiveness and reconciliation stand forever. It’s the getting there that usually gets messy.
      And yes, it does very much look like Jesus had no qualms about stirring up controversy with the religious crowd. Personally, I believe Jesus intentionally chose particular moments to raise the bar in his level of confrontation, even “thinning out the herd” when it came to the crowds around Him by intentionally saying things that would either draw them in deeper or turn away. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s a mess out there, but as long as we follow Jesus, He will guide us out of this mess. And thank you for your faithfulness to Jesus!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.